𝐰𝐝𝐰 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 & 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬

Black Spiderman➰Jack Avery

I've been feeling so down,
I think they should know now,
I think they should know what's up.

Black SpiderMan by Logic
(it's also a short one)

My head nodded to the rhythm and beat of the song played in my room. My homework was in front of me, only two out thirteen problems actually done on the sheet. I sighed, mentally screaming my eyes out, my brain turning into liquid and pouring out of my ears.

My boyfriend lied behind me on our bed, snoring and dreaming. His curls went in every direction, his face smashed against his white pillow, his snores filling up the silence of the bedroom.

Everyone else was alseep, it was fucking 1:30 a.m. for gods sake.

I had a huge assignment in front of me, it was due the next day. I and wasted my time studying for other assignments, I had completely forgotten about this one, and ended up doing it last minute.

The stress was like a heavy weight being put on my shoulders, like the Earth on Atlas. The anxiety pressured me into the dirt, using its shoes to smear against the soil. The self consciousness dumped me into a pit of muddy and swampy water, drowning me, making me breathe in the disgusting liquid.

The work I had sat on my desk taunted me, I could hear it laughing and making fun of me. My knees were brought up to my chest, arms wrapped around them, my breathing turning uneven and loud.

It was terrible, frightening actually, I couldn't get myself back together. I couldn't take control like I had so many times before, all the stress and anxiety and self consciousness taking over, making me a hyperventilating, stressed, crying, and anxious little girl.

Sitting on a chair with an inanimate piece of paper laughing at her.

I felt like a psychopath.

My breathing turned heavy, it was like all the oxygen in the air was gone, like I was in space. I couldn't breathe, there was no in and out, in and out, in and out. It felt like I was choking, weirdly, someone putting their hands around my kneck, pressuring the wind pipes and wouldn't let any air in.

Until I felt a grip on my shoulders, but not a hard one.

It was a gentle one, a caring one. My breathing remained the same, the pain didn't go away.

"Y/N, Y/N, Y/N, baby, calm down." I heard Jack's voice. "It's okay, calm down. I'm right here, it's ok."

"No, no, no, no, no. It's not okay, it's not okay." I cried out.

The tears flowed down my face, they were icy and cold. They touched my lips, sliding down and reaching my chin.

"It's not okay." I repeated, full on bawling my tired eyes out.

"It is okay. You are fine. Breathe, baby, breathe."

He put his hand on my back, motioning how my breathing should be compared to how it actually was. He moved it slowly, rubbing my back occasionally, and silently shushing my loud and unbalanced breaths.

Finally, I had taken control of my body.

"Now, tell me what's wrong, baby girl." He silently whispered. Jack knew I loved silent durning these times, loud noises and loud voices disturbed me, only making the attacks worse.

"I h-have to-oo m-much to d-do." I shakily said.

"What is there to do?" He asked me.

"So much, Jack, so much.' I breathed. "I have this assignment that's due tomorrow, then three other papers that are two pages long, that's due in three days. An online assignment about how I would make a Black Lives Matter campaign, another online assignment for a song were supposed to make, and then an essay. That's due next week, but I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have time." I cried again.

"Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, shhhh. Baby, listen to me right now." Jack told me, bringing me into a hug and holding my head in his hands. "You are going to go to sleep-"

"But Jack," I interrupted.

"Nope. You are going to sleep, and I will do the online assignments for you tomorrow. All of them. I will even cancel rehearsals tomorrow, I will do that just to make sure my baby girl gets some goddamn sleep."

"Jack, I have to finish, I have to. Please, just let me do it."

"No. You will call in sick tomorrow, that way you can give another day just to finish this fucking paper. I know how much it means to you. I know you think I don't know how much work you have, how much stress is being handed to you all at once, but trust me, baby, I do know. I know how much of a pain in the ass school can be sometimes. I know it, I've been through it. I've been through it all. And obviously, I survived. And if I survived, you can too."

"Jack,"

"Yes?" He answered.

"I love you so much." I sighed.

"I love you too, baby girl. Goodnight."

He tucked me in, and gently kissing my forehead, and wrapping his arms around my waist.