reset ; ym

About six and a half hours later

Jimin couldn't really sleep that night.
His bed felt empty, but it wasn't that kind of empty it usually felt when he just had a fight with Yoongi and they didn't sleep in the same bed.
It was just...

Empty.

But weird. He couldn't quite explain it.
Hell, he would've probably even preferred Taehyung lying next to him instead of being alone. Every time Jimin fell asleep, he awoke with a start again a few minutes later, his hand reaching out to Yoongi's side, only to find it cold and empty.
He felt too exhausted and almost too sad to cry, so all he did was turn away from Yoongi's side and reach over to the nightstand where the crinkled photograph was lying.

And he stared at it until his eyes were burning and he put it away again, instead playing with the hem of Yoongi's shirt he was wearing, enjoying how soft the fabric felt against his skin.
This was how Jimin spent his night.
One or two times, he thought about calling Taehyung and asking him if he could come over, or just getting up and walking over to Taehyung's place, but then he checked the time and it was, what, three in the morning? So he stayed in his bed, dozing off and then startling awake again until his alarm clock rang at half past six.

When he got up that morning, he couldn't even be bothered to take a shower. He put on a clean pair of jeans but kept Yoongi's shirt on and then made himself a coffee – he had classes in an hour and he had to somehow survive them.
Jimin bet he looked like a zombie. Not that he cared, though, there were definitely other things on his mind.
Usually, when him and Yoongi spent the night together, Jimin was the first one to wake up, and then he would prepare breakfast and wait for Yoongi to get up as well.
And when he finally did, he would smile thankfully at Jimin when he saw the coffee the younger had already prepared for him; then, he would walk over to Jimin and pull him close and kiss him softly.

Lazy mornings with Yoongi really were the best thing ever. They would take their time to get ready and cuddle and fool around, then, in the afternoon, they met with friends – it was perfect, really. Jimin loved when him and Yoongi spent time with their friends. He loved it when Yoongi joked around with Hoseok but was still holding Jimin's hand, and every once in a while he would lean over and give Jimin a quick kiss.
That was great, really. Jimin loved moments like these.

But goddamnit, Jimin had to accept that it was over now. Of course he didn't want to, it wasn't that easy. Him and Yoongi had been together for almost four years. Four years.
Jimin couldn't believe that he had been so sure that Yoongi was the one for him. He felt like a complete fool.

Jimin somehow made his way to the bus stop and then managed not to fall asleep while his usual twenty minute drive.
It wasn't easy, really. His eyelids felt heavy and it was so tempting to just lean his head against the cool window, but Jimin knew that if he gave in now, he would definitely miss his stop.
As soon as he entered the lecture hall he regretted his decision of even getting up that day. It was obvious to him that he wouldn't be able to follow the lecture anyways, not with Yoongi on his mind and after not having slept all night.
Then, there were the glances.
Jimin was always someone who put at least a tiny bit of effort into his looks. Taehyung always asked him how he managed to always look good, and although he strongly disagreed with him on that, he at least tried to look good. But today, he hadn't cared one bit – wait, had he even brushed his teeth? – and the other students noticed that.

They gave him odd looks as he walked up the stairs and took a seat as far in the back as possible.
But what really surprised him was that he didn't really care that they were looking at him. Sure, it made him uncomfortable, but then again, he just didn't care, he had more important things on his mind, and he knew that he looked shit that day.
So Jimin just took out his laptop and his phone, deliberately not paying any attention to his surroundings, instead resting his head on his hand and staring out of the window.

He could've stayed home, really. He didn't get anything of what his professor was saying anyways.

~

"Namjoon asked if we could hang out today."

Jimin shifted around and pulled his knees up to his chest. A sigh escaped his lips.

"Yoongi will be there," he reminded Taehyung.

"I could ask Namjoon not to invite him. I bet he prefers you over Yoongi anyways."

Jimin had to bite a chuckle back. He switched his phone into his other hand and leaned his head against the back rest of the couch.
"No, don't do that. Namjoon and Yoongi are friends, too, besides, I can't tell Namjoon-hyung who to hang out with and who not to."
On the other end of the line, Taehyung snorted. "But this is an exceptional situation, Jiminie. And I bet Namjoon wouldn't want to be friends with Yoongi anymore either if he found out how badly he fucked up."

Jimin's eyes went up to the ceiling. He was quiet for a short moment, an uneasy feeling spreading in his stomach.

"He didn't, Tae. He didn't fuck up."

Taehyung let out a breathy laugh. "Jimin, you're not actually defending him, are you?" he asked.
"I'm not," Jimin said.
It just wasn't fair. Of course Jimin was mad and upset and he wanted Yoongi back so badly, but he also knew better than to be unfair. This whole break up wasn't any of Namjoon's business and it would never be. This was between Yoongi and Jimin and only them.

"Then what is it that you're doing?" Taehyung asked, "Do I need to come over and yell at you for getting all soft for Yoongi again?"
Jimin's leg started bouncing up and down and he pulled his sleeve over his free hand.
"Tae, stop. Really. I'm not being soft for Yoongi or anything, I just – he just broke up with me, that's all. He didn't destroy my life or anything."

"But Jimin, he didn't even have any reasons for breaking up with you!"

"He did have reasons."

"Well, they were shitty and I refuse to accept them as reasons!"

Jimin closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against his legs. Calling Taehyung as a distraction really had been a stupid idea.
"Is it okay if I call you back later?" Jimin said tiredly. Taehyung was quiet.
"Sure," he then said, after a moment of thinking, "Yeah, sure. Jimin? Are you okay?"

Jimin stared down at his hand that was resting in his lap. "Yes," he said, "I just... I'm really tired, I didn't sleep all night."
"I can come over later, if you want," Taehyung suggested.

"Yeah," Jimin replied, "That would be nice."

Then he hung up. He didn't move for at least five minutes, just continuously staring at his hands.
He knew that Taehyung was just trying to be a good friend, and Jimin could kind of understand his rage on Yoongi, but right now, it was too much.
See, Jimin was hurt. He was really hurt, and it was Yoongi's fault, but he wasn't the person who then seeked revenge. He preferred to stay quiet and to maybe cry, and that's where him and Taehyung were so different. Because Taehyung liked to hurt the person back, and he was good at it.

Jimin had his moments when he liked to yell, but usually, he was silent.

Yoongi hadn't done anything wrong. And that wasn't Jimin's weak spot for Yoongi, it was just the truth. Yoongi hadn't cheated on Jimin, he hadn't done anything besides tell Jimin that he didn't have any feelings for him anymore and wanted to end their relationship.
He had been so calm and careful at first, the more Jimin thought about it, the worse he felt for his sudden outburst.

But Yoongi hadn't done anything wrong, and that's why Jimin couldn't hate him.
Taehyung kept asking that what if he really did cheat? However, Jimin didn't think he had. Yoongi was loyal and honest. He wouldn't do that.
Jimin could understand why Taehyung thought that he did, though. For him, everything had to have a solid reason. And if there wasn't one... well, then Taehyung made something up.

But really, Yoongi hadn't done anything wrong.
And that was just the way it was.
In the end, it was Jimin who had fucked things up, he could've been a better boyfriend, he could've tried not to fight with Yoongi all the time, maybe he should've cared more about the older man's feelings, maybe then, if Jimin had been better, Yoongi would still be his.

Yeah, Yoongi hadn't done anything wrong, but deep inside, Jimin wished he would have, because then it wouldn't have been entirely Jimin's fault.

But he hadn't done anything wrong. He hadn't made a single fucking mistake.