reset ; ym

At night six weeks later

Fuck. Okay, fuck –
Yoongi didn't remember what exactly his initial plan had been, but it had been bound to be a terrible one from the beginning on.
Inviting Jimin to stay over for a while? What had gotten into him?
But at that moment, Jimin had looked so vulnerable and so hurt, Yoongi just had to ask.

And much to his own surprise, he didn't mind Jimin's presence. Not at all.

The soju had just been an excuse; emptying a bottle of alcohol alone is sad, but together with someone else can be fun. And Jimin didn't have to say yes.
At first, Yoongi didn't even plan on opening the bottle, but then he did, and suddenly, it was half empty, and suddenly, he and Jimin were a little tipsy.
He pretended he wasn't, but it certainly showed in the way he grinned and how freely he talked.
Jimin giggled and it sounded heavenly – another effect of the alcohol, of course.

It was quiet for a few moments and their laughter about something stupid Jimin had said died down.
They both were lost in their own thoughts for a while. Then, Jimin spoke up again.
"Hyung," he said, "today, when you... when you talked to Jungkook like that..."
Yoongi frowned. He had almost forgotten about that. How childish had he been?
"What about it?" he asked.
"Yeah, what about it?" Jimin asked back, "Why did you do that?"
Yoongi shrugged.
"I don't know." He thought about that for a while, then he shook his head.

"I do know," he corrected, "But it sounds stupid."
Something glistened in Jimin's eyes as he watched Yoongi with such an immense curiosity, Yoongi could've also been telling him a new scientific theory instead.
"Tell me."

"I just..." Yoongi sighed. "I don't know, it wasn't fair of him to be like that." Then, he realized that didn't make much sense, so he tried again.
"He should... appreciate you more. And he doesn't do that; he just sits there and you sit there and that's it. And you open your mouth and he's mean to you. It's like he doesn't even know you."
Jimin squinted his eyes.
"That's not true," he said, "He's not always like that."
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, but he pissed me off today."

Jimin blinked. "Just today?" he asked.
Yoongi looked at him.
"Oh," he said, "every time I see him."

Jimin smiled at that. "I see."
And no, Yoongi didn't like that.

"Right," he said, just for the sake of it, just to be mean, "I don't get this thing between you anyways."
At that, Jimin clenched his teeth.
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Why are you dating him?" Yoongi asked back, "Why so suddenly? One second you're heartbroken, and the other, you can't get off him. Why are you dating him?"

"Because you –" Jimin immediately replied, then drew a sharp breath in.
"I?" Yoongi asked. Jimin shook his head.
"Forget about it."
"No, tell me."
"Because," Jimin started again, "I'm in love with him and there's nothing wrong with it. If you have a problem with that then fine, but don't pretend I owe you anything because I don't. You broke up with me, so deal with it."

Yoongi stared at him. The words hit him harder than they should.
Pathetically, the only thing he could say was, "You're not."
Jimin looked at him.
"What?"
"You're not. In love with him."

Jimin squinted his eyes and shook his head slightly, as if to say What the fuck is wrong with you?, and that was probably exactly what he wanted to say.
And then, Yoongi did something incredibly, incredibly stupid.

He leaned forward and cupped Jimin's cheeks – so fast that, under different circumstances and sober, Jimin would've flinched. But he didn't, so Yoongi pulled his face close and kissed him.
Jimin made a muffled noise. Somewhere in the back of Yoongi's mind, an alarm went off.

After just a few seconds, Yoongi pulled away. Maybe it was the last bit of sanity he had clung to that made him do it.
Jimin's eyes were closed. When he opened them, he blinked and furrowed his brows.
"Yoongi," he mumbled, and his voice was shaking. It almost sounded like a warning.

Don't do that shit. Don't you dare.

Yoongi couldn't say anything. He didn't know what – he had just done a terrible mistake and didn't know how to explain it.

"You can't – you don't..." Jimin stuttered. Suddenly, his eyes glistened with tears.
Without another word, he pulled Yoongi close and kissed him again.
Yoongi's mind screamed at him to stop, to pull away and ask Jimin to leave, but he didn't; instead, he kissed back with so much passion that he started to wonder why this ever ended.

He was drunk. But he felt something.

A little wave of shock hit him when he remembered Jungkook, but as fast as that feeling came, it was gone again when Jimin placed one hand on his neck and tangled his other hand in his hair. Then, he climbed on his lap.
Yoongi's hands found his waist, they knew the movement, had done it countless times before.
Their breathing went faster and faster, but neither wanted to pull away to catch their breaths.
Not if they could have this instead.

Yoongi pressed his tongue against Jimin's lips and Jimin opened his mouth with a low whimper that was probably just a failed attempt at breathing.

They could've had more than this – Yoongi's hands were already dangerously close to disappearing underneath Jimin's shirt – yet they didn't attempt to take this to another level.
Maybe it was the sudden guilt about what they had done, or maybe it really was the lack of oxygen, but they pulled away.
Breathing heavily, Jimin leaned his forehead against Yoongi's.
Yoongi kept his eyes closed; his vision was a blur anyway. Everything was a blur.

His heart was still beating heavily. He let his head drop against Jimin's shoulder and immediately, he could smell Jimin's cologne.

Jimin was the first one to find his voice again.

"What did we do?" he breathed, as if the weight of their actions was only now settling in.
"What did we – fuck."
Yeah, fuck.
Yoongi raised his head and Jimin got off him. He wiped his hands on his thighs, straightened his shirt and tugged at his collar. He looked a little lost, Yoongi thought.

"This was so wrong," Jimin said, "I'm sorry, Yoongi, but this – this was not... it was not..."
He stopped and fought the tears. His voice sounded a lot soberer than just a few moments ago.
"I should go," Jimin said. Yoongi glanced at him. He wasn't going to stop him.
Jimin went over to Yoongi's room and returned with his box. Then, he threw another glance at Yoongi. For a second, he looked like he was going to say something. But he didn't, and then, the moment was over.
And Jimin was gone.