reset ; ym

Eight days later, the second worst Jimin had felt so far

Right after Yoongi had broken up with Jimin, that's when it had been the worst.
Because Jimin had been on that mountain, on cloud nine, he had been flying and floating and then, all of a sudden, he had found himself on the ground.
That was a sensation he didn't know how to handle, he had never gone through heartbreak before, Yoongi was his first everything, but secretly, as nastily naive Jimin was, he had hoped that Yoongi would be his last as well.

Eight days later was a day Jimin didn't have any classes, and he didn't necessarily have to go to dance practice either; usually, he would anyways, but considering he couldn't even really get out of bed that day, he definitely wouldn't leave his apartment and dance that day.

He had dreamed of Yoongi that night. Not only did that make him feel like a weird pervert (or crazy, as Yoongi had called him), but it reminded him of everything as well.
Jimin felt drained even though he had just woken up.
He didn't even have to cry, but he felt like he was going to suffocate in a few moments; like something was trying to crush his rip cage.
He turned around in his bed a few times to get into a comfortable position again, but that didn't work either. His bed was too narrow and too wide at the same time, and it was hot and cold and it didn't even make sense, but whatever it was, it managed to get Jimin out of his bed and walk into his tiny kitchen area.

Why was heartbreak so awful? It wasn't that unlikely that Jimin would find someone else, someone better than Yoongi (read as: someone who wouldn't hurt Jimin).
And it was not the end of the world either. Jimin still had his friends, and his dreams and passion and it was totally not like Yoongi was almost a part of every single one of theses things.

Jimin checked his phone for the tenth time over the past few minutes he had been making his coffee for, and he didn't even know why. Maybe he was just bored, maybe he was checking if Taehyung had texted him, or any other of his friends, or maybe... maybe he hoped to see someone else's name pop up on his screen.
Jimin wasn't foolish enough to believe that that was actually going to happen.
It's been eight days since the break up, and seven days since Jimin had seen Yoongi the last time, and it was straight up stupid to believe that Yoongi was in some way not getting over what they had. In the end, he had made the decision to end it.

Jimin's coffee was done. He really didn't feel like drinking or eating anything right now, but he also knew that he needed the caffeine to get through the day, somehow.
He took a sip, and his face immediately contorted; he had never been a fan of black coffee.
Then, he took a step towards the sink and poured it away. What a waste.
It was hard to breath when he walked over to his couch and lay down there. Jimin's limbs felt heavy and he couldn't be bothered to get dressed properly. Why should he? He didn't really plan on leaving the house today, if his friends would ask him to hang out with them he'd just tell them that he still had to learn for his exams (which weren't about to come up but they didn't need to know that).

Taehyung actually called him around 1pm, asking him if he wanted to get some coffee with him or maybe even go to a club that night, but Jimin somehow managed to convince him that he really needed to get some work done.
He just felt slightly guilty when he hung up.

Jimin wasn't hungry at all, so he couldn't even drown his grief in chocolate and ice cream – he was sure he'd throw up if he ate something.
Eventually, he got the stupid idea to rewatch all the disgustingly romantic movies Taehyung had left at his place eight days ago, which only resulted in Jimin bawling like a child ("Why doesn't he love me back? Am I that unlovable? What have I ever done to deserve this? I hate him!" (He didn't hate him, for some reason he still couldn't fully hate Yoongi) "I'm such a pathetic failure. Why does it hurt so much?")
Then, when he felt drained and tired, he somehow ended up with a photo album on his lap.
There were photos of him and his family, of nice places, of his friends and of Yoongi – Jimin hadn't yet thought of throwing them away, or adding them to his BAD MEMORIES box.

He knew he should just get rid of the pictures, but he didn't really want to. Jimin's heart was hurting so badly, and it was the only thing he could feel right now, everything else was just numb.
Maybe he needed that pain for now, until he could be fully happy again. Of course it was unhealthy to get back to what was breaking him every time he seemed to get better, but it's just been eight days and Jimin missed Yoongi and he wanted him back, but he also never wanted to see him again and he wanted to yell at him – but for now, Jimin was too exhausted to do any of that, so all he could do was to sit on his couch, drown in self-pity and look at the pictures of him and Yoongi smiling, wondering if Yoongi had ever truly been happy with him.
If he had ever really loved him.

If Jimin had ever been enough.

An.: It feels like it's been ages since I've updated the last time, but it's only been like six days. I would've updated on Friday or yesterday but I passed out and hit my head two times and yeah... that was fun but here is the chapter it's pretty shit but all I can come up with right now, and I really wanted to write something, so enjoy it, bear with me and leave a comment if you liked it (: