reset ; ym

Two months, two weeks and one day later

It's been a while since Yoongi had left the house for something beside university, and even that felt like chore; to be exact, he hadn't met with any of his friends since his last encounter with Jimin.

It wasn't a conscious decision, but Yoongi felt guilty and he wasn't sure if he could face any of his friends after that.

Now more than ever, Jimin seemed to be everywhere.

No matter where Yoongi went, he imagined the younger's smell, couldn't stop his thoughts from thinking of him, of his body underneath Yoongi's, of how his lips felt, the gentleness of his words leaving his mouth.

It seemed so wrong when Moonsun called him. They had kept in touch, but Yoongi hadn't told her about the incident with Jimin. He knew that he wasn't obligated to since they weren't officially in a relationship; if he wanted to take it a step further with her, however, he should tell her.

Now, did he even want to be in a relationship with her anymore?

Thinking of her, talking to her didn't make him feel giddy, never had in the first place. It was nice to have someone be so interested in him, to care for him, let him into their world. It was different in a good way. Or... had been.

It was nothing compared to what it felt like to be with Jimin, and that scared the shit out of Yoongi.

Still, he picked up.

"Hey!" Moonsun said cheerfully, "How are you?" And then, before giving him a chance to answer, "I thought maybe I could come over and we could watch a nice movie? I could bring some beer if you want to..."

Yoongi absentmindedly stared at the window. 

"Hm. Yeah, uh..."

He should think, Sure, come over, let's spend time together. I enjoy spending time with you. Hell, we haven't seen each other in a few days and I really miss you.

But nothing like that came to his mind because it just wasn't true. Instead, all he could think about were the sounds Jimin made when arousal overcame him and the gentleness in his eyes when he looked at Yoongi. He wished he could turn back time; he wished he had talked to Jimin instead of sleeping with him, yet he couldn't help but yearn for his touch once more. What was wrong with him?

He had everything he could want. Why wasn't he enjoying it?

"Moonsun," he said before he could stop himself and cleared his throat, "We, uhm. I think we should talk."

It was silent on the other end of the line. Clearly, Moonsun had not expected this to come from Yoongi.

"Oh," she said and let out a breathy laugh, "We, uh. Oh. Alright. That sounds... Kinda serious." She tried to ease the tension with her humorous undertone, so much was obvious. Yoongi's heart ached.

"I... yeah. Uhm, we really need to talk. I'm sorry to just drop this on you."

"Yoongi, if you want to..." She breathed through. "If you want to end this... thing between us then don't make me come all the way over to your place."

Yoongi raised his eyebrows in surprise. Okay, perhaps the lack of attention and affection he had showed towards her over the past two weeks had been an indication of what was going to happen now. Yoongi felt sick; for someone who hated to disappoint and hurt people, he was doing a hell lot of just that.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I–"

"Don't be all like 'It's not you, it's me.' I know that's bullshit and I don't want to hear any of it," Moonsun said, sounding surprisingly... not angry. Rather defeated, and perhaps that made it all the worse. Yoongi sighed.