reset ; ym

The morning after the night one and a half weeks later

Jimin was sure that his head would explode at any moment.
Never in his life had he had a headache like this before – and then, he remembered parts of the previous night, and he was sure he had never been as drunk as that before either.

"Oh," Jimin whined and buried his face in his pillow.
All he knew was that he had been out with Taehyung, and they went to this club... images of Jimin pressed against another guy flooded his brain, and then, him and Taehyung went outside again. That's it. No details were left in his mind, and for a moment, that scared Jimin.
But then, the headache came back even worse and he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Never again," he mumbled. Never again.

Jimin's phone buzzed. A groan left his lips – when did everything become so loud? – and he blindly reached for his phone on the night stand.
He failed at grabbing it and instead pushed it accidentally which resulted in his phone falling to the floor.
Fortunately, there was a carpet right next to his bed, so Jimin just hoped that nothing bad had happened to his phone, yet he squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to reach his phone on the ground.

When he had finally grabbed it he moved back as slowly as possible since every single movement sent a sharp pain right to his head, then he sat up and rubbed his temple while unlocking his phone.
Taehyung had texted him. Because who else would be up early in the morning after such a night? What time was it, anyways? Seven, maybe?

Jimin looked at the clock hanging on his wall. Oh.
Oh.

"Twelve thirty?" he groaned. Great, so that was it. His day was practically over again. When was the last time Jimin had slept in so long? It must've been ages ago – university never allowed him to sleep past nine, and that was already a rarity.
Then, Jimin remembered the last time, and he wished he hadn't, because of course it involved Yoongi.
Everything in his life involved Yoongi. Just everything. They had met back in school, of course Yoongi had been there for all the important events.
Every single memory of Jimin's was something he shared with Yoongi, and there was nothing he could do to change that.

Then, he thought back at the previous night, and he realized that maybe that had exactly been what he had tried then. Getting rid of the last things that connected him with Yoongi by trying out new things.
And now he was awake again, hungover and more miserable than before.
It had only worked temporarily, and Jimin wondered if it really had been worth it.

He looked at his phone again, opened Taehyung's messages, and he decided that yes, it had been worth it. Even though the last night was just a blurred mess inside his mind, he remembered being happy. Being carefree for once.

A smile crept on his lips as he read Taehyung's messages, Hey, are you up? – Wow, okay, apparently not, meaning I'll be at your place around one with food and pills – Thank me later, I know I'm a good friend – Jiminie, did you die?

He typed back a quick reply, yes, he was awake now, and no, he didn't die, obviously, but Taehyung should hurry up because his head was certainly trying to kill him.

And when he closed the chat, he felt his heart sink to his stomach.

"No," he mumbled as his eyes widened, "No, no no no, what–"

A cold shiver ran down his spine when he spotted his chat with Yoongi right underneath the one between him and Taehyung. The last time Jimin had texted Yoongi was already a while ago, and there was absolutely no reason for that chat to be almost at the top, unless...

And as Jimin tapped on the chat, he decided that no, the previous night hadn't been worth it, not at all, not when this was the outcome – unanswered messages Jimin had sent to Yoongi.
Why? Why did he have to do that? What the hell had he been thinking? What – had he really told him that he still loved him? Where the fuck did that come from?

Suddenly, Jimin felt like crying. No, he felt like screaming, like yelling at someone or himself and he felt angry, but he didn't know at who, and as if all of that hadn't already been enough, he discovered that he had called Yoongi, too. Fucking called him.

And he had picked up.

That was when the first tears left the corners of Jimin's eyes and rolled down his flushed cheeks.
This was it, this was proof enough of how much of a pathetic loser he was. He had gone out to have some fun and this was what happened? Why would he ever think that calling Yoongi was a good idea, no matter under which circumstances?

Was Jimin crazy, or what?

When Taehyung arrived at the apartment, he was faced with a crying Jimin. His eyes widened and he stepped inside, then he dropped his back and engulfed Jimin in a hug. "What – Jimin, what happened?" he asked as he maneuvred them to the couch where they sat down. Jimin wrapped his arms around Taehyung's waist and buried his face in his shirt to muffle his sobs.

"Why didn't you stop me when I tried to call Yoongi?"

Taehyung seemed to freeze at that and he hesitated.

"I..." he started, but he stopped right after and a defeated sigh left his lips. "I didn't really think," he then said.
"I didn't think it would upset you..."
Jimin's head shot up and he glared at Taehyung although he really didn't want to.
"Why wouldn't it upset me? It's the stupidest idea I've ever had!"
"But you seemed to be convinced that you had to do that. You seemed to think it would be fun–"
"I was drunk!"
"Well, so was I!" Taehyung finally defended himself and lifted his hands up.
Jimin's face softened. He leaned his head against Taehyung's shoulder and sighed deeply.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "I just... I can't believe I've done that. What the hell was I thinking?"

Taehyung didn't answer right away. For one second Jimin actually thought he was just going to keep quiet when suddenly, he spoke up again.
"It's okay," he said, "I mean... yeah, sure, this sucks now and it's an embarassing situation, but Jimin... you are... you are just not over him yet."
And he sounded so defeated saying that, no, admitting it, Jimin almost thought that Taehyung was telling him that he wasn't over some stupid ex instead of Jimin.
He had never thought that Taehyung was actually that involved in this whole break up.

"But why?" Jimin asked. He didn't really expect an answer to that; he already had one.
He wasn't foolish enough to think that heartbreak was something you overcame within a few days, especially not after such a long-lasting relationship. But it hurt so much, and Jimin didn't understand what he had ever done wrong to deserve this kind of pain, deep inside his chest but not quite there, and sometimes it was just everywhere, and he didn't know how to escape it.
He didn't know what he had done and what Yoongi had done differently for him not to have to suffer like Jimin had to.

He guessed he would never get an answer to that.

"Why wasn't I enough?" Jimin suddenly sobbed. Taehyung looked at him with so much pity that it almost embarassed Jimin.
"That's the thing, Jiminie," he said and wrapped an arm around Jimin's shoulder, "You were so much more than enough, Yoongi couldn't handle it."

And Jimin believed that was both the most comforting thing as well as the biggest lie Taehyung had ever told him.