Pretty Boy // Destiel

6. Nothing but Hate

Castiel.

I stare at my ceiling, through nothing but darkness.

I look at the time and see it's well after two in the morning and I still haven't fallen asleep.

I was still angry and upset at Dean, leaving me like that just to get a rise out of me.

I can't believe I didn't push him away in the first place, like I said to.

I roll over on my side, pulling the blankets up to my chin and playing with the edge of my pillowcase.

I thought about what happened over and over again and mentally yell at myself for being so stupid as to let him see me like that.

But for him to just approach me like that and then leave.

I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes and I shove the heel of my hands into them, hating the fact that I was about to cry over this.

Hating Dean for being such a jerk.

Hating myself for being so quick to give in.

I can't sleep so I turn on some soft music and close my eyes, concentrating on just the music and counting down from 100.

It feels like a long time has passed and I'm still awake, my mind having wandered off to other things.

I open my eyes and see the time, which is 3:30.

I groan and roll over on to my other side, closing my eyes again to attempt to sleep.

My mind recreates the scene where Dean was on me in the hallway. It creates a story where Dean never bullied me and I had nervously told him my feelings and we were happily dating each other.

I press a pillow into my face.

Stop. Stop, stop, stop. That's not what you should be thinking.

I lay there for a while longer and roll over, seeing it's almost five.

Great, no sleep tonight. I have to get up in 30 minutes.

My eyes close and before I know it, I've fallen asleep. . .

My alarm goes off twenty minutes later and I groan loudly, not wanting to get up just as I was able to sleep.

I have to go to school no matter what so I force myself out of bed and into the shower.

I lean my head against the cold tiles and close my eyes, knowing this is about to be a day from hell.

I slowly finish getting ready for school and grab my bag and keys.

I tell my dad a quick "goodbye" and make my way out the door to school. . .

I set my head against the edge of the steering wheel, not wanting to be here right now. My eyes ache, I don't feel well, and I honestly could sleep right now.

I shake my head, turning the car off and taking the keys out as I leave, following the rest of the students inside.

I hurry to my class, not really wanting to be around anyone, even though I feel bad for avoiding Anna and Jess.

I sit down in History, barely awake when the bell rings and everyone goes to their seats.

"Okay class, phones away. Heads up. We're watching a video today." The teacher says.

I sigh in relief as the teacher turns off the lights. I can sleep for a while.

The video comes on and I watch until my head hits the desk and I'm asleep. . .