Sometimes we feel like we got life all planned out. We plan for the future but fail to live in the present.
Everything seems perfect to the public eye but behind close doors it's the complete opposite. Heaven becomes Hell but we have no choice but...
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"Ight Mr.Marcos I'll see you tomorrow" I told my boss as I made my way out on to the dangerous streets of Spanish Harlem.
These past two months have been the hardest on me. There's days where I feel like life isn't worth living anymore and then there's days where I'm cool.
I haven't been able to sleep good either. All I see when I close my eyes is my mother laying lifeless on the bleachers.
Also these past two months I haven't spoken to my younger siblings or Taya. I miss them like crazy. It's hard to go from seeing them everyday and goofing around with them to not even getting a phone call. I wish I could I fly out to Cali and visit but shit with the way our financial situation is set up I barely have enough to eat. If it wasn't for the free meals I get when I take my break at work I probably wouldn't eat at all.
Mr. Marcos even let's me bring a burger or some home for Jerome. I gotta look out for my big bro because at the end of the day he's all I got and I'm all he got.
"Dave my nigga" Jungle and Mugga yelled as I reached the corner of East 91st and Park Ave
Mugga is Jungle's younger brother who's my age. He's just like Jungle. Funny and cool asf
"Wassup my niggas"I dapped them up
"How you been holding up?" Mugga asked as we walked down the block
"Shit. Some days better than others. It's hard when you don't got family to lean on man. The only family we got is my grandma but she dipped with my brother and sisters and forgot all about me and Rome" I shook my head still not believing it
My moms family stopped fucking with her after she had gotten pregnant at an early age by my father. After she had Rome everyone acted like she didn't exist. Only person she could count on was my grams but even then my grams still acted petty and only talked to my OG when she felt like it. And well I never met my fathers family so there's no way I can count on them for Shit
"Well we got you if you need anything. And stop acting out in school nigga. It's bad enough you got kicked off the basketball team. Don't fuck around and get kicked out of school period" Jungle said
About a week after my moms died I had a game. During the game I ain't like how niggas was pressing me so I beat two niggas asses on the other team getting me kicked off the team permanently.
"I know. I'm trying to just keep my head up but it's hard as shit when you feel like the worlds against you. It's like nothing but bad shit has been happening to my ass these past couple of months. If it's one thing it's another.I just want something good to happen so I can know God's still on my side"
"You just gotta keep faith. A little bumps in the road will all be worth going through at the end. Just don't lose yourself trying to find happiness. Just let it come" Mugga said as we reached my block
"Yo Dave they clearing yo shit out" Jungle said
I looked straight ahead and sure enough there were people carrying furniture out
I took off running with them right behind me
"Fuck ya'll doing?" I yelled snatching the lamp one of the guys had in his hand while Mugga and Jungle did the same
"We got orders to clear this house out"
"Who the fuck gave you guys orders to clear my house out?"
"The bank. Sorry kid but you're being evicted"
"Fuck you mean I'm being evicted" I yelled not believing shit.
I ran inside to my room seeing it was still untouched.
I quickly grabbed bags and stuffing as much shit as I could in them
"Aye Dave you can stay at our crib until shit gets better" Jungle offered
"Thanks man"
They saw what I was doing and began to help out as well.
Soon we all had bags in our hands and we walked out
"Fucks going on here" Rome said as he got out his car
"We're being evicted Rome. Like how the fuck can they evict us if we been paying the mortgage man" I shook my head waiting for his response but didn't get one.
I looked at him and he was staring at the floor
"You did pay the mortgage right?" I asked
"Nah man. I lost my job Dave. I've been trying to come up with money but I couldn't so I just used yo money to pay the utilities"
"Why the fuck didn't you say some? I could've put in extra hours. Shit I could even gotten you a job at the joint with me but you let us get kicked out nigga. We fucking homeless because of you" I yelled letting all my anger and frustration out.
"Nah what you not gonna do is blame me for this shit" He yelled back
"Then who am I suppose to blame it on? Not me. I did my part of bringing in the money and shit. I did what I was suppose to do. You're the one who ain't think that losing yo job was worth telling anyone about. Like nigga you know how tight money is and you want to keep this a secret? Now what? We ain't got a choice but to live on the damn streets"
I was heated asf right now.
"Aye let's calm down. Rome go see if you can get your shit and ya'll can come stay with us for a while" Jungle said trying to prevent the arguing from escalating.
Just like that a nigga I lost every hope of ever being okay
Will they ever get happiness?
Don't worry y'all Desire And Dave are going to cross paths very soon😭
