Sometimes we feel like we got life all planned out. We plan for the future but fail to live in the present.
Everything seems perfect to the public eye but behind close doors it's the complete opposite. Heaven becomes Hell but we have no choice but...
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I watched as Dave closed the door behind him. I quickly got up running to the door opening it
"Fuck you Dave" I yelled down the hall
I watched Dave stop in tracks turning around taking a few steps my way
"Fuck me? Fuck me Desire? Really? No it's fuck your jealous insecure ass. You're mad cause you lost yo shot? Bitch you ain't Shit. Yo pussy was whack so you saved me the trouble of working hard for it since you just gave it up" he yelled back
Hearing those words caused my heart to sank.
I fought back tears as I took off running inside towards the room. I grabbed as much of his clothes as I could carry running back into the living room throwing them out the door
"You're a fucking ungrateful asshole. I gave my all trying to make sure you were Fucking happy. Sacrificed my own happiness for you and this is what I get? I'm Fucking glad you're Fucking leaving so ima help you out" I yelled running back in
"Leave my shit alone Desire" he yelled running after me
"No I don't gotta do shit. Get the fuck out. I never want to see or hear from you again. Get the fuck out and pretend that we never met. Treat me like a stranger in the streets" I threw more clothes at him.
"You think that'll be hard to do? You ain't that great to make me not want to forget you. You sacrificed what? Your pussy? Probably made all that up" he grabbed his shit walking out the room
I ran after him pushing him out closing the door and locking it. I slid down to the floor breaking down
How could he say that shit to me. He basically just told me he aint believe shit about me getting raped. He thought I was a joke this whole time and here I am giving him my all although we ain't together
I got up from my spot heading to my room.
I looked around at the mess of clothes that was on the floor but didn't even bother to pick it up. I went under the bed grabbing my bottle of tequila and my bag Of Coke
I hated that I had to do this shit to feel some what okay with myself
People would think I'm stupid but how can I face shit when I was never taught how to be strong? My whole life has been based off of fear. My dad might've been the best before my mother passed but he was also strict and solved shit with striking fear in us. He showed us love and affection but he also disciplined me to the point that I was scared to even make a mistake.
I was never taught to defend myself. I didn't have older cousins or siblings to teach me the ropes. I had my dad who made it impossible for me to defend myself because to him it was disrespectful. If some said something to me I had to sit there and take.
