Sometimes we feel like we got life all planned out. We plan for the future but fail to live in the present.
Everything seems perfect to the public eye but behind close doors it's the complete opposite. Heaven becomes Hell but we have no choice but...
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"Fuck you mean you have cancer?" I snapped not trying to believe what just came out my mothers mouth
My mom's my world I don't know what I would do if I lost her.
"Dave calm down" Nana said
"Nah Fuck that. How y'all want me to stay calm when our mother just told us she got cancer" I yelled trying to fight back the tears
"When did you find out?" Rome asked
"A couple months ago. I didn't want to tell you guys and worry you" She said
"Mom I don't care. Don't you understand how serious this is?" Rome said
"I'm sorry babies but that's why I've been so behind on the bills. I've been paying for my chemo and medications hoping it would go away but I'm already to advanced for it to be contained" She said as tears began falling
I couldn't take it no more. I fell to my knees hugging her waist not wanting to let her go. I can't envision me losing her. All of us need her. She's what hold this family together.
"What stage are you in?" Nana asked
"Stage 3"
"Mom the next stage is 4. This can't be good" She said
"I'll be fine babies I promise but I need to change some things around. I'm sending Kaine and Layla to California to live with your grandma because I don't want them seeing me go through this. It's only going to mess their focus up in school and that's the last thing I want. All I want is my kids to graduate school and be successful" She said looking at us.
I had to agree with sending the youngins away. Grams was the best bet. She'll make sure that they don't need for nothing and besides the area where she stays is a way better area then Harlem.
"I need you guys to stay strong. If anything happens to me you three need to hold the household down. You need to stay strong for the younger ones" She continued
"No fuck that. Nothings going to happen to you. I won't allow it. Mom you can't leave us G you can't. There has to be a way to make it go away" I cried
"Dave honey the doctors are doing the best they can but nothings promised" She explained but I wasn't trying to hear none of that.
I ran out the living room and to my room. I started punching shit and throwing everything before I fell to the floor in fetal position
I don't understand why my mom? Why her? She's the most selfless kind women ever. She doesn't deserve this shit.
Why does bad shit happen to good people? I don't understand. What did I do to get punished?
"Dave?" I heard my moms voice from outside the door before she appeared "Baby please stop crying. I'm good right now" she took seat next to me
"But what if God snatches you away from me? Then what? What am I suppose to do without you?"
"You're suppose to hold it down baby boy. You have to see that no matter what life throws at you, you need to find a way to over come it. If I go then you need to remember you got people rooting for you baby. You need to continue being the best you can in everything you do. Continue to dominate the court and make sure you win every game for me. Make sure your siblings are good. God never throws things your way that he's not ready for you to go through" She hugged me letting me cry on her shoulders
"But I love you too much to lose mom. I can't lose you"
"And you won't. I'll be with you regardless of anything baby"
DESIRE
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I woke up to someone knocking on my car window.
I got up rolling the window down a bit just to see what they wanted
"May I help you?" I asked
"Yeah you can't stay parked here or else you'll get towed" The Walmart employee spoke
"Sorry I'll move right now" I said starting my car
I throw my blankets into the passenger seat as I pulled off. I've been living in my car for the past couple of days not really having a place to go. Before I ran away from home I emptied all of my dad's accounts and stole some of his jewelry so I can pawn it for money. I had a good amount but I wasn't really trying to stay in a hotel and end up broke with no emergency money.
I drove around getting into the hoods. I looked around seeing if I could find somewhere to park my car and get some sleep.
After what felt forever I saw a house that was calling my attention. I took the back way going through and alley. Reaching it I saw it had a little driveway I could park my car.
I pulled in parking it. For some reason something told me to get down and check the door.
I turned the car off making sure to lock the door. I walked up to the door knocking before turning the knob seeing that it was opened. I walked in seeing that the lights were on. I took a few steps before hearing a noise. I turned right back around heading towards the door
"Oh my god you scared" I heard from behind me
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to intrude" I said
"Girl it's fine. Everyone comes and goes from here" She laughed
"What you mean?"
"This is an abandoned house but the owners pay the bills just never really care to come see it. So those who are homeless use it for shelter but most of them leave. But me on the other hand have been living here almost a year now"
"And your comfortable just letting strangers walk in and out?"
"Not really. I'm always on guard and when I'm sleep I usually lock the doors and windows" She said walking to the fridge "You're more than welcome to stay here if you want. I can use a roommate. Don't worry I won't let nobody in"
I debated if I should stay or not. I mean staying here is basically the same as staying in my car. I was probably a little more safer here than inside my car.
