Sometimes we feel like we got life all planned out. We plan for the future but fail to live in the present.
Everything seems perfect to the public eye but behind close doors it's the complete opposite. Heaven becomes Hell but we have no choice but...
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I sat in front of my mothers grave letting out a few tears. You would think that after so many years the holidays would get easier.
"Mommy I need you here with me. I miss you so much. I feel like every time I have some happiness in my life it gets ripped away from me. How can I give Dave my All when I'm so fucked up. How can I be the perfect parent to Heaven when I'm so young and i keep making mistakes?" I cried out
"Mom help me. Help me finally have happiness. Don't you think I deserve it? Don't you think I've been through enough bullshit?. But again how can I be happy when I know my sperm donor is still looking for me? How can I be with Dave knowing my life is in danger? Why did I even take in Heaven? Why did I agree when I'm only going to put her life In danger as well?"
This whole time I never realized that they were all at risk staying with me. I was a target and now I was making them targets as well.
As I sat there for some reason I felt a breeze pass by and it wasn't the wind.
I looked at my mother's grave and a smile formed on my face. A urge to be happy came over me.
I kissed my fingers then placed them on her grave.
I got up taking a last look at her grave sending It a smile.
I tighten my coat around my body before I started walking through the cemetery back to my car
This visit was well needed and I'm glad I came even though I know Dave's probably mad at me
DAVE
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I laid in bed with my eyes close feeling the other side of the bed for Desire but realized She wasn't here.
I quickly opened my eyes sitting up looking around the room.
