The Tattooed Prince 2

60.

Adalyn's Point of View:

My profound freedom from Sebastian and The Royal Family has brought out my regular human instincts or how Emily likes to call it: heartbroken syndrome. It took me awhile to fully understand why she would call it such a thing, it seemed absurd to me to think this aching feeling inside my chest was considered heartbreak. I felt like this numerous types for the past years and I never considered it to be my heart. Maybe the only time I felt my heart breaking was when I lost the baby, but the feeling I felt now was nothing compared to that. I admit there are times when I see a couple together or a certain activity will bring back memories with Sebastian and I start crying. I figured it was going to take time for me to get over the memories of Sebastian and let go of him entirely.

Emily insisted I was taking the whole ordeal of my divorce and resignation of Spain well if it was any other person they would be a mess. I'd tell her otherwise when she was around I can put on a straight face and bottle all my emotions inside, once she leaves I cry, scream, and listen to depressing music until I fall asleep. I wasn't taking anything lightly. I didn't understand what Emily was trying to refer to as well, it wasn't until the Uber driver dropped me off at home the truth sunk in.

As over-dramatic I was in the beginning of dating Sebastian, I was still a child, one that had been brought up in a dysfunctional home. Throughout the years in the palace things didn't get better, I changed. The less I felt, the less likely I was prone to get hurt. I wasn't like Sebastian, I couldn't chug down cups of cold whiskey in my office, trying to suppress how depressed I truly felt about myself. All this time there hadn't been a moment I grabbed a bottle of alcohol and drowned myself in it, well, that was the situation until tonight.

Mateo and I got a bit carried away with drinking and at one point we got to a sensitive topic and we drank way too much. The bar owner was nice enough to order an Uber for us and we separated our ways not before we traded numbers and agreed to go out again. Coming to an empty home my stomach tighten and the truth came to light, somehow my drunken-self thought for a moment Sebastian would be waiting for me in the living room. Like one of those makes believe dreams where everything had worked out and we lived a normal life. I don't know why I thought it out this way when I was at a bar talking to Mateo. If Sebastian was here with me, he'd come looking for me.

I dropped my purse on the couch and slipped out of my heels, swaying side to side trying to keep my balance as I went over to the small cabinet stashed with alcoholic beverages. In honor of Sebastian, whiskey it is. I grabbed a glass cup and thought about pouring the whiskey in the bottle. I figured what was the point of pouring it in when I would have to be pouring over and over again. Instead, I grabbed the bottle and sat down on the couch, taking sips of the whiskey. I was at the point of over-intoxication, it was the first time I had drank this much and my inner voices were thinking a thousand things at a time, the only thing relating everything together was, Sebastian.

He kept popping into my mind.

How could a man as handsome be as cruel as he is? I truly believe now his head is made of air and there isn't anything else you can fill it within. He didn't have a sense of compassion or anyone except himself and every time he shows you otherwise he destroys it by proving to you he does anything to prove himself he has a heart. That man was as heartless as death itself.

Some girls end up throwing up after consuming too many drinks, other girls end up crying or become aggressive, I end up seeing Sebastian (when he isn't there) in front of me. He stood with his hands crossed over his chest, shaking his head.

"It's unlady like for you to be this drunk, you know better." He said.

Did I really? If I knew better, I believe I wouln't be here feeling like a fool. I grabbed the bottle and took another sip, taking in the burning sensation the whiskey felt behind in my throat.

"I loved you and I tried every waking moment to prove to you I did, yet you managed to destroy my world with words. Even when my thick backbone I cannot get rid of your awful presence. You keep eating my thoughts, my heart, my life...you don't stop." I told him, as my eyes filled with tears. "I held your hand throughout all the fucking years, whether you were right or wrong and it was never good enough for your majesty! Nothing was ever good enough for you!" A rage within me began to brew.

"After all this time, I remain alone while your fantasy tale continues! I stood next to you when shit hit the fan, I forgave you when you cheated on me with Madison, I gave you countless retries. You are a ungrateful son of a bitch!" I hissed.

"I hate you! I fucking hate you!"

The upstairs hallway lights turned on and Tony and Sophia came into view. I turned to look back at Sebastian but he was gone.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, rushing down the stairs.

"Nothing." I motioned my hands towards him. "Go to sleep" My words slurred.

His eyes roam down to the whiskey bottle in my hand. "You're drunk."

I wiped away the tears rolling down my face and nodded. "Yeah."

"You shouldn't be like this, Adalyn." Sophia said, taking the bottle away from me.

"Like what? Drunk?" I chuckled dryly. "Maybe this is the only way I can deal with my pain."

"It's not the right way, though. Drinking is a temporary repressive, it's not going to make you forget forever." Tony spoke out, worriedly.

I shrugged. "I like forgetting for the moment."

"You aren't even forgetting when you are drunk, you're arguing with yourself."

"No, Sebastian was right there." I pointed to where I had seen him.

Instead of continuing to argue with me, Sophia sat next to me and popped the bottle open, taking a sip.

"What are you doing?" Tony demanded.

"Drinking with her, she's hurt Tony, I don't think she can express it and this is her way. I don't condone it but if she needs to talk to illusions of Sebastian than I will let her."

"This isn't healthy."

"Nor was the love Sebastian gave her, if you had loved her as much as you said you did, you would've taken her away." Sophia turned to look at him.

"She wasn't mine to have..."

"No, but she was yours to save. I was as delusional as she was when Sebastian was around." She confessed.

"I'm heartbroken..." I heard myself say. "I don't want to be like Sebastian and drink myself away but I understand why he did it now. At least alcohol makes you feel something at the end of the day. Let's admit it, I am not any better than Sebastian."

"No, you're much more than that. Adalyn, Sebastian didn't make you, you made yourself to who you are. You're not heartless, selfish, nor broken. It hurts not having the person you wanted but it doesn't mean time stops ticking. There will be things time will never be able to heal nor will there be memories you'll be able to forget. You can only hope some days are better than others. Sebastian doesn't get the right to ruin this new chapter for you." Tony cupped my face.

"I know, but I have so much anger inside, I hate him...I hate him so much." I cried.

***

It's hard to see my Addie this hurt:(