I ditched before sunrise—I have a good reason why. Mateo was leaving today to Los Ángeles and he called, asking me to meet up with him before his flight. The guilt this morning was worse after last nights events, and I needed to see him.
As I walked up to the cafe, Mateo was sitting outside in the patio. There was one cup in his hand and another across from him.
"Hey," I smiled, taking a seat across from him.
"Hey, I got you a coffee,"
"Thank you," I was going to need it. I must have only slept a max of three hours. Taking a sip of my coffee, Mateo kept his eyes on me. He didn't need to tell me he was upset; it was written all over his face.
"Why did you leave last night?" I finally asked him.
"It was hard to see the chemistry Sebastian and you have. It's hard to hate the guy when he is sober," he chuckled quietly.
"Yeah, he isn't the guy from the charity event."
"I see that and you do too. I guess you didn't think you would fall back for him, huh?" He asked.
"No," I said, not being able to lie to him. For a moment, I thought about lying to him regarding my feelings for Sebastian, however, I find a hard time lying to Mateo.
"I know you are the right girl, just wrong lifetime," he chuckled again. "This fucking sucks, yet you never led me on. You told me where you stood and I was persistent. Sadly, I don't want to leave. I want to fight for you,"
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My stomach turned into a knot; how can someone like him, want to waste his time on a girl who doesn't know how to move on? I don't want to be responsible of him getting hurt. Nothing in certain between neither of the guys in my life. The same way I can end up with Sebastian; I can end up with Mateo. He knows Sebastian is going to be my first choice, and he doesn't deserve to be a second choice. Believe me for awhile, he wasn't even a rebound. The chemistry him and I have is special, I never felt something like that with anyone.
"Mateo..." I turned my head down to my coffee, unable to look at him in the eyes.
"You slept with him," he responded casually, unbothered by my actions. I snapped my head up, giving him a confused look. "I wore the same expression on your face when I slept with Giselle again,"
I was speechless—what am I suppose to say? He understood why it happened, so why do I still feel guilty as if I cheated on him?
"He is going to go back to rehab and you have to come back to Los Angeles. Or will you stay here until he gets out?"
Sebastian made it clear there wasn't going to be an 'us'; having sex isn't going to change what he said. He wants me to move on and I have to try; whether it is a good or bad choice.
