The Tattooed Prince 2

66.

I didn't regret having Mateo sleep with me last night when I woke up this morning to have his arms wrapped around me I couldn't help but smile. I remember how there were mornings when Sebastian would stay in bed hugging after his alarm rang and held me close to him. Those were the mornings I felt a reassurance between us, I could feel the love radiating through Sebastian. As time went by, the less he'd stay after his alarm rang to hold me, it got to the point where our sexual life disappeared. Thinking about it, after the third fail attempt to conceive we started drifting apart.

I forgot how much I missed the smallest gestures I received from Sebastian. Maybe, if we focused on each other rather than our wants we would've lasted. Or perhaps, in reality, our fate was never for each other and the millions of paths in life the line which didn't need to cross with mine, did, and destiny had to set things right.

I haven't stopped loving Sebastian. He will forever have a place in my heart and if I fall in love with a different man, he will never fill the place Sebastian has permanently marked. He loves me and he has the worst way of showing it but there comes a time when you can't continue fighting for someone when the space you share with them has become toxic. I don't believe we stopped loving each other, we simply forgot to continue to fall in love with each other all over again.

Whether he believes it or not, leaving him was the best thing for the both of us. He was suffocating me in his world and he wasn't truly happy with me either. I can only hope one-day destiny makes a mistake again and our paths cross so I can see the Air-head Prince and not the mess he has become.

Sometimes I feel as if I gave up on us at the worst time. If I stayed he wouldn't be this much of a mess or if he was meant to become an alcoholic I would've helped him get sober. There's a part of me telling me every night Sebastian needed me more than I needed him. A person who was raised to be a certain person would always have to rely on the approval of others. What if all this time Sebastian feared my disapproval of things? What if I was the cause of why he always pushed me away.

I grabbed onto Mateo's hand and removed myself from underneath him. I slipped out of bed and grabbed my robe and left the room. I didn't regret having Mateo sleep with me last night but I wasn't ready to wake up next to him. There wasn't a moment I imagined to wake up next to someone else who wasn't Sebastian. Last nights events had me feeling as if I was over him, truthfully, I'm not.

I can feel some hate towards him but I love him. Every bone in my body proved it and the small ache in my chest made it all real again. If I stayed with him, he'd continue to bring me down his emotional roller coaster, something I am no longer capable of doing.

He's simply someone I don't know anymore.

I had gotten myself a cup of coffee ready and stepped outside to the back porch. I was surprised when I found Sophia huddled in a blanket staring out at the sky. She looked at me with a tired smile.

"Having trouble sleeping?" She asked me.

I took a seat next to the chair across from her, nodding. "I couldn't stay in bed with Mateo," I responded, taking a sip of my coffee.

"I heard you talking to him last night, how did that go for you?"

"Okay, nothing happened. It was weird waking up next to him." I confessed.

She gave me a perplex look. "Why is that?"

"I think after waking up for the last four years next to Sebastian, it seemed unreasonable to think I would wake up next to anyone else," I told her, staring down at my black coffee.

She sighed out heavily. "He seemed a mess last night. Maybe things aren't going well for him in the palace."

"You think anyone would want to have Libby as their Princess or Queen?" I scoffed. The girl didn't have the class or the guts to rule a country. I might sound like a hypocrite, bashing on Libby for how unprepared she is to be a Royal when I was the same way, yet you know when there are girls who are there for the fame and not the commitment.