The Tattooed Prince 2

71.

Sebastian Point Of View

I have an addiction. I used to tell myself one drink was all I needed to keep my nerves calm due to the pressure on my shoulders, yet one drink turns into two, three...a whole bottle. A daily cup turned to all day drinking until I wasn't able to function and the worst part of it all was the alcohol didn't ease the pressure on my shoulders. At the end, I used the alcohol to make me go to sleep so I didn't have to deal with my own problems.

I am coward. If I had stopped myself from pushing Adalyn away, everything would be different. She knew me more than I know myself and she would've stopped me from drinking so much. For the first time in my life, everything felt perfect with her, we were happy. Sadly, I cannot make anything good last for myself. Sooner or later I destroy everything I touch or love. Adalyn didn't deserve to spend a lifetime with me when I was never going to be able to devote enough time to her. I hope she's happy...I hope she can finally live her life the way she wanted too.

My back was resting against the wall as I sat on my bed staring at an imaginary Adalyn. Her dark brown hair covered a part of her face, hiding the frown on her plumped lips. Her arms were resting on her sides and she didn't move a muscle. We kept our eyes glued to each other, I waited for her to say something to me, but it was obvious she wasn't going too. She wasn't really there. I was hallucinating like when I was drunk at least when I was drunk I wasn't ashamed to yell at her. All I wanted for her to do was leave. I was as disappointed as her in the situation I am in.

Sweat dripped down my forehead, down my cheek and neck before meeting the stain of sweat on my shirt.  My heart was beating fast and thousands of thoughts were racing through my head, I felt like I was going insane. I wasn't able to say goodbye to Ian because it didn't take long for my body to realize the alcohol wasn't running through my veins. I started to fidget and sweat a lot. My parents thought it was best for me to leave without saying anything to Ian since it wasn't going to be a good idea for him to see me this way.

My admission to the rehab center was done for me because I was losing grip on reality. I didn't understand why my body was withdrawing from alcohol if it isn't a drug. I thought it was going to be easy to stop drinking but the intensity of the pain flourishing inside of me made me want to grab a bottle to make it stop.

The nurses had to escort me to my room and explained to me for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours my body was going to hate me. The withdrawals were going to be intense and the best thing for me was to stay in my room and try to ride it out. They weren't going to place me in fluids yet, apparently, the worst was still to come.

For the last couple of hours, I have been staring at a hallucination of Adalyn. One minute I had been laying down and the next I found myself sitting up staring at her. The more I stared into her eyes the easier it was for me to understand my addiction wasn't a drug but anything the body starts depending on, it's bad for you. If I was going to get better, I had to admit to myself I didn't have an alcohol problem, I have an addiction.

"I am sorry." I spat out. If I didn't have the balls to apologize to the real her, I could try with the ghost of her.

She didn't say anything, instead, she walked towards me, stopping a few feet away from my bed. She extended her hand towards me as if she wanted me to grab her hand. I raised my hand and touched hers. She slipped her fingers through the crack of my own, giving my hand a gentle squeeze, she gave me a small smile.

The same way her smile appeared it disappeared, she took a step back looking me with sorrowful eyes. She grabbed onto her hair, opening her mouth and yelled. I heard nothing. Her body language showed her screaming, she looked distressed but I couldn't hear anything.

I quickly scrabbled out of the bed to figure out what was happening to her. "What's wrong?" I asked frantically, trying to touch her, my fingers went right through her. I didn't understand why a minute ago I was able to physically touch her and now she was a ghost.

Tears were streaming down her cheeks and she continued to yell. "Please, tell me what's wrong!" I nearly cried with her. "I can't hear you. I don't know...I can't help you."

She backed further away from me until her back met the wall and she slid down. Her hair covered all her face as she sobbed in her hands.

"I'm sorry," I repeated again. "I want to help you, but I can't." I sat down on the edge of the bed helplessly.

Adalyn snapped her head up meeting my eyes again. She wiped away her tears and stood back up from the floor. She walked towards me and I watched her kneel in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I responded back. I hugged her back, apologizing profusely.

"More than anything do I wish to have you here," I whispered. "I truly am sorry."

I hugged her what felt for hours and she continued to hug me back never loosening her grip on me. I apologized until my own words echoed back. There wasn't enough I am sorry's to fix what I broke. Adalyn was still damaged and I was the source of her pain.

I had closed my eyes and when I opened them, we were back in the palace. She was standing near a large window and I was in front of her. I looked around, confused about what was happening.

"Why are we here?" I asked her.

She walked over to me and caressed my cheek.  suddenly, she swung me back against the wall and she ran straight into the window. Glass shattered as her body launched out.

"No!" I shrieked, launching myself out with her. We started falling in slow motion, everything around us was a white abyss. I reached out for her and managed to grab a hold of her. Wrapping my arms around her, I protected her head and body the best way I could. I tried turning us around so it was me who caught all the impact but I couldn't.

All I could do was protect her head with my arms, praying whenever we hit the floor, she wasn't going to die. The same way the abyss surrounded us, it went away and I saw the gardens tile in front of me. I closed my eyes and waited for the impact.

Our bodies slammed into the ground and I felt every bone in my body shatter. The sound of Adalyn skull cracking echoed in my head.

I snapped my eyes open and I was shrieking. Adalyn was gone and I was alive, but the aching pain within me was still there. I rushed over to the door and pounded on it over and over again.

"I can't do this! Please. Make it stop!" I cried out.