Accidentally yours

Chapter 33

|Nikita|

Broken

Hurt

Disappointed

Helpless

These weren't just words but the state of my heart after Virat left. He didn't just leave my home—he left my life without giving me a chance to speak. Darkness enveloped my vision as I tried to stand, my legs trembling from the shock of what had transpired mere minutes ago.

I had been waiting for him to share news that had shaken me to my core, but instead, he arrived and delivered another devastating blow.

Virat, the man I loved with all my heart and soul, the man to whom I gave my virginity and whose result was now within me, accused me of cheating. How could he even think such a thing? I couldn't stop crying as his harsh words replayed in my mind. The pain was unbearable, not just because he doubted me, but because he didn't trust me enough to talk things through. His anger, I knew, could destroy anything—but I never imagined it would destroy us.

I managed to stand with the support of the table and headed to the washroom. Splashing water on my face, I looked in the mirror and realized this nightmare was real. My mind was blank, unable to process what had just happened. All I could think about was the fact that I didn't get a chance to tell him about my pregnancy.

How much worse could it get?

I called Anusha, my only confidante who knew my situation, and she came over immediately.

"Niks! What happened? Did you tell Virat everything? What did he say?" she bombarded me with questions as soon as she arrived.

Taking a deep breath, I recounted everything. I couldn't hide anything from her; I needed someone to hear me, to feel my pain. Hardik wasn't here, and I couldn't tell him, fearing it might ruin their friendship and affect their matches. Anusha was trustworthy, so I confided in her.

"What? How dare he say that to you? I'm not going to leave him—just wait!" she stood up, ready to confront him.

"Anu! No! Wait! What will you do? Talk to him? He didn't even listen to me, and I know he won't. I don't want more problems in my life. If the media gets wind of this, it'll be a disaster," I said, clutching her hand to make her sit again.

"God! Why are you so concerned about him? He talked rubbish, didn't trust you, and accused you of cheating? You? The girl who only ever talked about him? How could he, Niks?" she fumed.

"I know! I'm already broken. His words keep echoing in my head. He doubted my character, which I never expected from the man I loved. But I hate this feeling that, despite everything, I still love him! I really do!" A lone tear escaped my eye.

"Ugh! Why do you have to be so good? Niks, what are you going to do now? He doesn't even know he's going to be a father," she asked the question that terrified me the most.

"I won't abort this child. I can't be the murderer of my own baby. And knowing Virat doesn't even know about this, it would be unfair to him," I said, firm in my decision.

"Are you in your senses? Do you know what it means to give birth to this child? How will you hide this from the media? What about your career?" she asked, concerned.

"I don't know, Anu. I guess I need some time alone to figure out how to handle everything. But one thing I'm sure of is that my career is over because I can't let this child go," I said, breathing heavily.

"Anu, will you do me a favor?" I looked at her.

"Of course, Niks! Anything!" She held my hands.

"Stay with me for a few days. I don't think I can handle all this alone," I pleaded, my voice trembling.

"Is that even a question? Of course, I'm staying with you. For now, go to your room and rest. I'll be back in an hour with my bag and your medicines," she hugged me tightly.

I moved upstairs to my bedroom after she left. I took out my diary—it had been a long time since I wrote anything in it. Every time I was hurt, I used to write. This time, I was broken, and writing my heart out seemed like the only solace. Taking a deep breath, I picked up the pen and began.

Virat,

Congratulations, you are going to be a father. I still can't believe this is happening. Goosebumps cover my body at the thought. This is such a big thing for me. I can imagine your expressions if you were here. Honestly, I am not ready for this at all, realizing you won't be by my side to support me, to hold me when I'm in pain, to fulfill my late-night cravings, to handle my mood swings. But I have decided to give birth to our child. Yes, our child, and you don't even know about it.

I don't know what made you doubt me, Virat. You know I loved you the most—I still do—but betrayal? I don't know who poisoned your mind or who was behind all this. All I know is that one misunderstanding ruined our relationship at a time when I need you the most. I never expected you wouldn't trust me. I know things haven't been smooth between us for months, and I regret not giving you enough time. But for you to doubt my character was something I never imagined. I wished you had listened to me before jumping to conclusions, but your anger—your anger always overpowers everything. Our relationship started by accident, and now my pregnancy has come unplanned, but maybe it was meant to be.

I am scared, Virat, of facing the consequences. If the media finds out, your image will be ruined, and it might affect your career. I will do my best to hide this from everyone. I don't know if you will ever know about our child, but I will wait for you, hoping you will realize your mistake someday. Your promises of never leaving me still echo in my ears, but it seems promises are made to be broken. I failed as a lover, Virat, for not being able to earn your trust. Now, I don't want to fail as a mother, so I will give birth to our child.

I wish you well, wherever you are. I won't contact you because I have my self-respect. You hurt my self-esteem, and I won't be able to clear things up. I know you will realize your mistake one day, but I hope it won't be too late. Wish me luck and strength, Virat, because I am leaving my dreams and career behind to enter a new phase of life. I have no idea how I will manage, but I feel strong enough to endure this.

I love you and always will! I hope you come back because even the thought that this might be the real end of us terrifies me. Even though it will be difficult for me to forgive you after everything you said, my heart isn't strong enough to stay away from you for long. Prove me wrong, Virat. I don't know how long I can live without you. I need you, and this child will need you.

Yours
Niku❤

With that, I closed my diary, tears streaming down my face, my heart aching with every word I wrote.

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