Accidentally yours

Chapter 43

|Nikita|

After 9 months...

"Is this a dream? My hands tremble as I write this. 9 months, Virat! Just a day or two more and our child will enter this world. This child has been the sole reason I survived these months without you. Where are you? Are you okay? Because I'm not. I'm terrified; my heart pounds with every passing minute. I can't believe you're still not here. You've hurt me, and yet I can't bring myself to hate you. Every time I think of the day you left, my mind wants to curse you, Virat! But my heart... my heart won't allow it. Your face flashes before me, those twinkling eyes melting me in an instant. Your eyes, Virat—I should have known from the moment I saw them, deep as an ocean, full of wisdom. They ensnared me in love and burned like fire. Your eyes were both my joy and my fear. I wish there were more hours in a day to love you, but fewer where I'm missing you. Perhaps this will be my last letter to you, relegated to drafts, but it will be my last. Because after this, I won't just be a girl; I'll be a mother, and you will be the father, though I don't know if you'll ever find out. I have no idea what I'll do or how things will be after this. Amidst all the chaos, one thing remained constant—my love for you. I love you, Virat."

I closed the laptop, my entire body covered in sweat. The doctor had just left, saying the delivery was expected any day now.

I'd been crying all morning for no particular reason. Throughout these months, I had waited for Virat, but today, I missed him terribly.

I hadn't seen Virat play a single match, nor had I heard any news of him. All I knew was that he had been ruled out for a series, and his health hadn't permitted him to play thereafter. That was definitely a serious concern.

Today, I felt the need to call Hardik one last time, just to let him know where I was. He was my best friend, and he had nothing to do with what had transpired between Virat and me. Why should he suffer for it? And after today, who knows how things will turn out? I didn't want to regret not telling him later. Honestly, the real reason for calling him was Virat. I needed to know if he was alright, because something felt off. He'd never been absent from cricket for this long. I gathered all my courage and dialed his number, my hands trembling with fear.

I dialed, heart pounding faster with each passing second.

He answered!

"Hello!" After nine long months, I heard his voice.

I bit my lip tightly, struggling to control my emotions, which threatened to spill over at any moment.

"Panda?" It was all I could manage to say.

I knew he must be shocked.

"Niki... Niki, is that you? Damn it! You're alive! Where the hell are you?" I could imagine the confusion, shock, and worry on his face; 'concerned' would be an understatement.

"How have you been? I missed you!" Mixed emotions made it difficult for me to speak clearly.

"Niki... Where are you? It's been more than nine freaking months, and no sign? Do you have any idea what's been happening? How hard Virat and I have tried to find you, and still... nothing! Tell me where you are right now; I'm coming!" He said in one breath without pausing.

"Calm down, Panda! You can't come here, and I don't want you to! Just stay quiet and listen to me for a while, please!" I paused, waiting for his murmured consent to continue.

I closed my eyes briefly, memories of the past nine months flashing through my mind—how I'd survived without Virat, and now our child was about to enter a world where their father was still unaware.

"Hardik! I'm pregnant! I'm about to have a baby in a day or two." I stopped to catch my breath.

This was the hardest part!

The phone was silent as a pin drop, my pulse racing faster than before. I started sweating.

"Panda?" I asked, to check if he was still there.

"Niks? Ar-are you serious?" His words came out as a murmur, but I heard them clearly.

And then, I explained everything to him—every single detail from the day Virat left me up until today in Australia. The journey of more than nine months that I had survived only for our child, hoping to regain my love, if only.

"You call me your best friend? And you did this to me? Nine freaking months, and you suffered like this without even feeling the need to tell me. You just vanished from India in the blink of an eye! Niki, I missed you so much! I can't even be angry with you because you've been through so much, but it hurts! It hurts to see that our friendship meant nothing, and I couldn't do anything for you—nothing!" I could imagine my Panda tearing up as his voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry! I missed you too, but tell me, did I have any other choice? I was pregnant! The media was making my life hell, trying to find out why I left modeling. I had to get away for my child, for Virat! They would have crucified him; his career would have been ruined if this news got out. He doesn't even know! I wanted to tell him, but fate had other plans for me!" Tears streamed down my face. I knew this would happen. My heart had been holding onto so much that it all poured out at once.

"It's over! It's all over, Niki! You've suffered enough! Come back to India, I'm telling Virat everything right now!" He said, making me stagger in place.

No! This can't happen.

"What? No! You can't do this! You won't tell Virat anything! I want him to realize! If we're meant to be together, he'll come. Otherwise, I'll console myself with the thought that maybe it was meant for us to part ways!" This thought terrified me to the core.

"Niki! Virat has realized everything; he's been consumed by guilt since he found out the truth. He's drowned himself in alcohol; he's lashed out at anyone who tried to reason with him. BCCI has even warned him, and if this continues, they'll strip him of his captaincy. Trust me, Niki, all he talks about is you—day in, day out. He's destroying himself, and he'll continue until he finds you. Every day, his self-loathing deepens. He couldn't be more sorry for what happened. I know he was wrong, but please don't punish him so severely. I can't bear to see both of you like this when I know you love each other." He poured out everything, leaving me speechless.

I was numb. Everything around me seemed to freeze, and I felt nothing. My mind was blank; my heart was too fragile to bear this. I couldn't handle it! I ended the call abruptly, without saying anything.

He was destroying himself because of me. The mere thought pained me. These months had been torture. They had been slowly killing me every second. I couldn't bear to see him self-destruct like this.

It felt like time had stopped right then and there. I didn't know what to do.

I called out to Anusha, who was in the other room, and suddenly, a loud scream escaped my lips, signaling the onset of pain.

I knew it was time. The child was finally ready to enter this world.

Anusha immediately called an ambulance, and after that, I don't remember what happened.

"I love you, Virat," I whispered under my breath before losing consciousness.

~~