Forever ~ A bullying story ~ s.m

~Bagels~ (chapter 33)

Shawn's P.O.V

I hate the fact that Meredith is slowly going back to that depressed broken girl i knew 4 years ago.. i swear to god i wish it was me who would've opened that door.. he wouldn't see another day..

"Hey Shawn" i hear someone say from the door. i look up and see Amanda with a small smile on her face

"Hey Amanda" i whisper trying not to wake up Meredith

"how is she doing" she comes in a sits on the floor. i look down at shrug.

"she's okay i guess. i can see her slowly turning back into the girl i knew 4 years ago.. and i wish i could be a better boyfriend and fix things" i say running my hand along her side under the blanket. Amanda laughs slightly and i look at her confused.

"your an idiot. Shawn she fucking loves you. you have made her happier then i've seen her in a long time. you just have to give her time to adjust with people knowing about the rape thing.. she's scared. but you have to let her know that you'll always be there for her. no matter what happens. and don't treat her differently just because she was raped.. it'll make things so much more worse" She says her voice cracking. i sit up slowly making sure i don't wake up Meredith and look at Amanda. oh god

"you were raped too.. weren't you" i say. she looks down at her lap and nods slowly,

"it was a long time ago, and the guy is in jail for it. but it still haunts me" he whispers.

"Amanda i'm so sorry. does anyone know?" she shakes her head

"just my mom and Meredith. and now you" she says running her fingers through her hair, she looks at Meredith and then back at me

"thank you for keeping her from hurting herself again Shawn" she says. i look down and shake my head. she opens her eyes wide and sighs.

"so she cut herself last night" she says getting tears in her eyes

"no i stopped her before she could but that doesn't mean she's not gonna try to do it again" i feel Meredith move under me. I look down at her and she slowly opens her eyes. i smile as she looks around.

"Hey Amanda" she says.

"okay so we were all planning on going to bagel boat and then going to one persons house at a time because we only have room in the trailer for one persons stuff at a time because we have to bring the beds and everything" Amanda says standing up.

"Okay. well be down in a minute" Meredith says. Amanda nods and walks out the room closing the door behind her. Meredith sighs and looks down.

"whats wrong" i whisper into her ear kissing her temple. she shakes her head and covers her face

"eventually your gonna leave.. and i understand why.. i mean who wants someone who cuts themselves and always thinks bad about themselves.. and i understand if you don't want me because l'm used..." she whispers. her voice cracking every so often.

"baby girl please stop thinking like that. you may not think this but i want you every day. Even when your mad at me. even when i irritate you. even when i piss you off. i want you. i want your happy days and i want your 'i don't wanna be alive days'. i want you in the morning and i want you in the middle of the night. i want to be the reason you smile and i want to be the reason you laugh every day. and even when you have a sad day. i want to be the one that makes you smile. even if its only for a minute. i wanna kiss you and i want to be able to hold you in my arms and i want to stay up all night talking to you i want to fall for you.. and i want to protect you from all the evil things in the world.. i just want you and only you" i say pulling her onto my lap ( i saw this online and thought it would be perfect for Shawn to say so i changed the wording a lil bit so credit for whoever made it)

i see her slightly smile and sniffle

"thank you so much Shawn... you don't understand how happy you truly make me" She leans her head on my shoulder. i smile and kiss her lips repeatedly

"we should probably get ready though" she says in between the kisses. i pout and look into her eyes

"but im so comfortable right here" i say. she smiles and pecks my lis one more time before standing up and walking to her dresser, she picks up some clothes and goes into the bathroom. After about 5 minutes she comes out with her hair in a messy bun and yoga pants on. she looks at me confused before she speaks

"what are you looking at" she blushes. I smile and walk up to her wrapping my arms around her waist

"You. your just so perfect" i say picking her up, she wraps her legs around my torso and puts her head in the cook of my neck

"stop lying to yourself Shawn. its not cool to lie" she whispers

"Meredith. shut the fuck up" i say. she jerks her head up and glares at me

"well okay then. put me down" she says squirming. i tighten my grip and whisper in her ear.

"stop fucking saying that. you are perfect and i'm gonna tell you that every day until you believe it" she blushes and kisses my cheek.

"let's go. there probably waiting" i put her down and we walk downstairs and the guys all smile

"alright so my truck only has 5 seats inside and the rest is gonna have to sit in the bed of the truck. We all walk out and figure out the seating
Cameron, Nash, Jack, Jack and Carter go and sit in the front and the rest get in the back. i wrap my arms around meredith's waist and we just sit like that until we get there. once Cameron parks we all jump out and go inside. we order and sit down. we all laugh and eat our bagels.

"okay so how are we all planning on getting everyone's shit to the house in a day" Taylor says laughing.

"uh. Taylor it's called teamwork. duh" Meredith says we all laugh and finish our food.

This is gonna be an interesting day..