Forever ~ A bullying story ~ s.m

~Arizona~ (chapter 21)

Meredith's P.OV.

Last night was terrible... i should have known someone would have noticed.. i'm currently laying next to Shawn unable to move because i don't want to wake him up. what if he changed his mind.. what if he doesn't want me anymore? I feel shuffling next to me. i act like i'm sleeping. i just want to stay in this moment for a little bit longer

"i know your awake Meredith. i can tell by your breathing" Shawn says in his morning voice. Shit. i slowly open my eyes to see him already looking at me. i look away. i just cant look into his eyes...

"good morning" He says smiling. i don't say anything and his smile fades

"stop thinking about last night. its in the past. please" He says looking me in the eyes. I do a small smile and put my head in his chest. he wraps his arms around me

"baby you know we got a show today" he mumbles. i groan. I love my fans. trust me. i love them all. but i don't want to deal with any hate today. i'm sick of it

"just ignore them. if you feel upset just tap me on the shoulder and well walk back stage until you feel comfortable again okay" he says kissing me on the forehead. i nod and go to sit up but he tightens his grip

"i gotta get up and take a shower" i say quietly. i don't really trust my voice. anything i say could make me break out in tears. he nods slowly and pouts knowing i'm not in a cuddling mood. i walk over and grab my clothes for the day and go into the bathroom. i turn the water on and undress. i get in and stand under the water for a minute. i look down at my wrist and see deep long cuts. i gently run my finger along them as i tear up. Im such a fuck up. i shake my head and grab the soap. i wash myself and then my hair. i turn the water off and get out. i dry off and put my clothes on. which consisted on jeans and a long sleeved shirt. i do my makeup and dry my hair. i leave it natural and walk out. i sit on my bed and look at my lap. i sit like that for awhile. lost in my thoughts. finally i hear someone talking to me. i look up and see Amanda looking at me concerned

"whats going on with you" she asks me. i notice Cameron and Shawn left. i look down and begin to tear up

"oh Meredith please don't cry. just talk to me. what happened last night. I don't say anything but put my wrist in her lap. She looks at me wide eyed and gently pulls my sleeve up. she stares at my arm for a long time. i'm about to move when she speaks

"Meredith.. i'm sorry. i should have noticed something was wrong. your my best friend and i should have been there for you" She says hugging me

"don't blame yourself please.. i should have talked to you or someone before i did this... i just didn't know how" my voice cracking. i hug her back and we stay like that for a while until we hear soft knocking on the door

"were about to leave. we'll meet you guy down stairs" i hear Shawn say through the door. i smile slightly and stand up

"whats that smile about" Amanda says smirking

"Shawn say the L word last night" i say grabbing my phone

"HE DROPPED THE L BOMB?" She screams. i shush her and laugh

"did you say it back?" she asks as we walk out the door. i nod and smile. she squeals

"awh my creation is all grown up" she says as we walk down the stairs. i look at her

"your creation?" i laugh. she nods and we walk into the lobby. we walk to the guys standing in the corner. they smile at us and we walk to the limo. we get in and drive to the venue. were here early so theres not that many fans. we take pictures and i get glares from some of them. i try to ignore them but i guess Shawn noticed because he squeezes me hand. i smile up at him and we walk into the building. We do sound check and all that jazz. we go back stage and Taylor pulls me aside

"I need your help planning something" he says nervous. o geez.

"whats up" i ask

"i want to ask Amanda out during the show, and i was hoping you and Shawn could sing a song like in the background while i do it. pleaseeee Meredith" He begs. I smile and nod

"yes. ill do it. but. Taylor if you hurt her ill kick your ass and cut your dick off" i warn. he smiles and nods

"understandable" I smile and go to Shawn and tell him the plan. He nods and we decide on 'all i ever need' by Austin Mahone to sing

"two minutes until you guys go on" Bart says coming into the room. we all stand up and go to the door that enters the stage

"And here. what you've all been waiting for. The members of Magcon." we here. we all run into stage and wave.

(i'm gonna skip until taylor asks Amanda out because i don't know what they should do😂)

"okay. we've got a surprise for everyone" I say into the microphone. everyone looks at me confused. i smile and Shawn starts to softly play the cords to the song

"Amanda can you come up here" Taylor says trying not to act nervous.

'don't the water grow the trees'

"i have to tell you something.. something i've been wanting to tell you for a long time

'don't the moon pull the tides'

"i like you. a lot. I've liked for for awhile. and i've never had the guts to tell you"

we continue to sing and i see Amanda smile and cover her mouth

"i'm kinda getting off topic. but i just. Amanda will you go out with me?" he asks smiling nervously