The Life Of Mia Parker

Chapter 21

After I told Nate what happened that night I now felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Since moving from Dorton I never really thought about what happened. I always tried not to. After that night I thought I was going to get my life back on track but instead I ended up doing a 360. After the funeral things started to go quiet again, my dad and Luke were getting on with their lives and I locked myself in my bedroom crying, not understanding why the people I love were being taken away from me. I would never get to see any of them again. My mum, my sister and my best friend. All of them gone. felt cursed. I felt like I was being punished. Tortured.

My dad suggested I needed to get out of Dorton. Liking the sound of not having to wake up and not see my sister in the bed beside mine or come downstairs to not see my mum making her amazing pancakes and not being able to meet and laugh with Diana whilst walking to college, I agreed. Being somewhere but here just sounded so perfect. For so long I didn't want to be dragged back there, I enjoyed pretending nothing had happened and that my life had just started but I guess in a way I needed to. I needed to fully be able to deal with it.

Exhausted, Nate and I began to walk to my house. "You know it wasn't your fault."

"Of course it was. I told her to come to the cliffs? If I hadn't jump then she wouldn't have either." I sighed.

Because it was November I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, my skin being chilled by the freezing cold weather and I also couldn't stop myself shivering. Noticing my state Nate takes off his leather jacket passing it to me to put on.

"You didn't force her Mia. She chose to go to the cliffs and she chose to jump. No one knew what was going to happen, it's nobody's fault."

I understood his words but I just couldn't help but blame myself. Once we made it to my house I opened the door to a concerned Nessa. "Oh my gosh Mia, I've been so worried." She hugged me.

"We've been so worried." Luke said walking out of living room, looking pissed.

"I'm sorry about your party."

"Forget the party. You must be terrified with what just happened. When you walked away I quickly ran inside to tell everyone to leave to come straight here."

I smiled at her, appreciating how amazing of a friend she is but it soon became a frown realising that I needed to tell her the truth. "Erm Nessa I need to tell you something."

"Okay, let's go in the living room. You must be freezing." She turned around heading towards the living with me following behind but I didn't make it far since Nate grabbed my shoulder stopping me. I turned to meet his eyes.

"I wish I could stay but I need to see Hayden."

"oh yeah erm tell him I'm sorry." I said realising how scared Hayden must be feeling.

"For what?" Nate asked, confused.

"Please just tell him." Nate nodded and hugged me before leaving.

**

In the living room I sat down with Nessa and Luke on the sofa while Dylan sat on the armchair. Just like how I told Nate I told Nessa why Stephanie said what she said. Hearing the story Nessa hugged me tightly whispering comforting words, telling me I shouldn't blame myself.

But I couldn't. Everything that's happened was my fault, everything. It wasn't just Diana, it was my mum and sister. If it wasn't for me they would both be here, if I had just picked up my little sister from school none of this would have happened. Having all these thoughts I couldn't help but push Nessa away. I appreciated her being there for me but she would never understand no one would so I just kept my tears in and smiled. "Well erm it's late so you should probably go home and get some rest. I'm really sorry about today."

"You don't have to say sorry-"

"But I just-"

"Mia. Don't worry about it, we can always party another day besides you should get some sleep." She said hugging me tightly once again.

After saying goodbye to Nessa and watching her and Dylan drive away I closed the front door, leaning my back on it, taking a deep breath. A few minutes later Luke popped out of the living room, he watched me closely before walking towards me and pulling me into his embrace. At that moment I couldn't help but breakdown in his arms.

"You'll get through this Mia. I promise." He said but I didn't reply.

It's really hard for Luke and dad too. They don't show it because they want to be strong for me but I know that they're both hurting just as much. We all lost the people we love.

"I miss them too but we can't do anything to change it. I promise you Mia, you'll always have me okay. I'll never leave you, no matter what." He said whilst hugging me.