Fixing you |~| louis Tomlinson

Ignored

Liam's point of view

I lie in the bed ... alone. Once again. Sophia has been spending most her nights in Louis' room in case he wakes up. No matter how desperately I try to get her back to bed, she stands her grounds and resorts back to his bedroom. She takes the role a little too seriously at times. There's a massive strain on our relationship because of it. I can't speak to her about it because she'll call it jealous so I have nothing to do but face this thoughts alone. A loud crying is heard followed by the shh's of Sophia making the noise less loud. Louis is awake I'm guessing. At 4am. No surprise there. I lie down defeated and jump as the door opens and a sniffling noise is heard.

"I don't think he is settling sitting up, maybe you could sleep in the spare room so he can stay with me tonight" Sophia suggests as I look at her downhearted by her comment.

"Sure" I say before collecting my pillow and heading for the spare room. I sit there collecting my thoughts and all of a sudden a wave of emotions fill through my body making tears spill from my eyes.

I idolise Louis but I never knew having a baby would affect mine and Sophia's relationship the way it has done. I feel like I don't know her anymore. She's always too tired to talk, always playing with Louis or caring for him in some way and ignores most my conversations I try have with her. As for Louis I don't know where I stand with him. I don't bathe him anymore, I don't feed him a bottle as he drinks breast milk, I hardly play with him as he's always with Sophia. Losing two people I care about deeply is honestly enough to make my heart ache. Unfortunately I'm the only person that can change that and maybe spending time alone with Louis may fix a part of the problem I'm having. It isn't long before my eyes shut due to being emotionally drained.

Beep beep beep! My alarm clock rings as I notice the time is 6am. A little too early for my liking but I know Sophia and Louis don't wake up until 7 so I can slip Louis out from Sophia without her noticing and spend a full hour with him on my own. I leave my pillow before making my way to the bathroom washing and brushing my teeth before entering my bedroom. Sophia snores half naked while Louis is spread out pacifier bobbing slowly. I look through my wardrobe and grab out a pair of grey shorts and a white top and white converse before getting dressed. I pick Louis up from his sleeping position as he wakes up rapidly rubbing his eyes and crying a little. I soothe him by patting his back and making my way to his bedroom. I lie him in his crib as he cries through his pacifier.

"Daddy. I want mummy" he cries loudly as I pull out an orange dungaree suit and a nappy.

"Baby me and you this morning are going to go to a playgroup or some sort so mummy can rest" I bargain as he nods his head and lies back down.

I pick him up and lie him on the changing mat and quickly change him. He's never fussed over being changed since his headspace deepened so I'm glad. It isn't long before he is settled in my arms sucking his pacifier contently as I make my way down the stairs.

                   

"Daddy ? Is mummy coming with us ?" Louis asks.

"No, it's only you and I," I smile, happy to spend a day only with Louis.

"Oh," Louis pouts. "Me wants mummy to come."

"No, she's not coming," I reply.

Louis starts crying, reclaiming Sophia. I wince. It's going to be a hard day for Liam. I try to give him his pacifier but he doesn't stop crying.

"Calm down baby," I beg, Louis' cries breaking my heart.

"Want mummy," Louis cries. "Not you. Mummy"

My heart breaks down in million pieces.

"But Lou..."

Louis doesn't reply and runs into our bedroom, waking Sophia up.

"Mumma !!"

"Hi baby," she says with a tiring voice.

I watch Sophia cuddle a happy Louis. I wince. Louis rejected me and is now cuddled into Sophia, trying to take off a bra.

"Let mummy do it little man," she laughs, taking off a bra to breastfeed Louis.

I put my head down and walk downstairs, wiping a few tears away. I truly am heartbroken. Sophia didn't even see me, Louis rejected me ... but I want to spend a day with Louis, without Sophia, and I will do it.

When Louis is done eating, I go with him to the playground, hoping that this day together will get us closer. I'm wrong. Louis has probably decided to be a brat for me. He isn't listening,, he's only crying for Sophia.

"Louis," Liam whispers. "Can you listen to daddy please ?"

"No ! No daddy ! Mummy !" Louis cries.

Everyone was looking at us. Louis was crying and pushing me away. I was feeling bad, I don't know how to calm him down.

"Louis ? Do you want to go to the swings ?" I ask.

"Yes !" he smiles, finally obeying.

"Come on," I say, taking his hand and guiding him to the swings.

Louis played happily with me for a while but the calm was soon over. Louis is thirsty and angry.

"Daddy, me thirsty," he complains.

"I'm going to give you your bottle," I say, giving him a bottle of milk.

"No !" he yells, throwing it on the floor. "Want mommy !"

"Louis," I say.

"No ! Not you ! Mommy !"

"Louis !" I shout.

I'm completely exhausted, annoyed and tired. I don't understand why Louis prefers Sophia. Maybe because she breastfeeds him. Maybe because she's his mother. Maybe because she's nice and not strict.

I just want to go home, I just want Louis to listen to me. I just want to have a good relationship with Louis.

Louis whimpers, hiding his face behind his hand.

"Will you listen to me young boy ?" I ask with a stern voice.

"Yes daddy," Louis sniffles, too scared to disobey.

"Good," I answer.

I'm feeling bad for yelling at him but I didn't have another choice. I force him to drink the bottle, winning a lot of cries and a lot of whining from Louis, but he drinks it ! It is a little victory for me.

When we arrive at hime, the first thing Louis does is to run into Sophia's arms, crying and explaining to her that I was mean to him !

"Daddy yelled at me," Louis cries.

"Is that real Liam ?" Sophia asks.

"Look, Louis was a total brat, he was crying and rejecting me, and ...," I say.

"I don't care Liam, you scared him, you can't do that," she replies, taking Louis with her in the bedroom.

I whine. Parenthood is harder than what I thought. The only thing I want is to be able to spend time alone with Sophia and Louis, but I feel like I'm losing both of them ! What should I do ? What have I done ?