Fixing you |~| louis Tomlinson

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Louis should have been used to it by now, the constant change but he wasn't. He never had coped well with it and the band all knew that. He'd constantly keep to the same routines, wear the same clothes, attend the same concerts as usual and it had become a control thing. A burning desire to keep things in order slipped when he started Age-play and secretly he hated the fact it had ruined all his hope of control however he knew deep down that it was the best option for him. Regardless of Liam claiming his love for the boy Louis never truly felt like he was significant in Liam's life, it was all about Sophia and the baby and he understood that but in a more vulnerable headspace it was unsettling and upsetting for him to have to rationalise. Sophia was completely different to Liam, regardless of her carrying her unborn baby Louis was still her top priority and she made sure he knew that but he couldn't have Sophia all the time and it was becoming a problem. Louis had now been staying with Sophia for days and finally the day came around where they all had to meet up to attend the trip in L.A. Louis was knocked completely out of headspace knowing he'd be seeing Liam again. Somebody who didn't seem keen on treating Louis like he secretly craved. It was all a mess really, he couldn't express this to Liam because all his protests just were deemed down to tantrums and Liam shoved them off as nothing leaving the boy to deal with it all on his own once again. Sophia relented a little more, if Louis clambered for a pacifier she would make sure to get him one and reassure him how good he was before giving it him something Liam failed to do anymore. It was all since the reveal he changed, the stress probably seeming too much to deal with a baby which Louis wanted to be but it wasn't meant to be like that. Louis was meant to get everything he wanted in order for him to stay happy and healthy and right now his health deteriorated every time he was faced with the scary thought of being forced to start acting more mature.

"What's up bubba you seem lost" Sophia sympathised rubbing his back softly.

"Can I live with you" Louis clambered a bunch of jumbled words.

"Baby you know you stay with li, he would miss you"

"Wouldn't"

"Your father idolises you Louis don't think that" Sophia scolded.

"Not like you do" he muttered to himself.

The packing had been done for half an hour and the
full car ride there Louis forced his eyes shut to try fall asleep so he wouldn't have to see Liam.

"We're nearly here, do you need a wee it's going to be hard to hold it on the plane you know lou" Sophia Warned.

She knew fine well he wasn't in headspace she just had no time to help him coax back into it and it was hurting her to see him in such a vulnerable position. She just wanted to scoop him into her arms and rock him until he slept but she knew she couldn't due to being extremely busy.

"Can give you some pills on the plane" she offered.

"Yeah, would like that" Louis murmured.

Usually he would fight it, he'd try his hardest to stay big but his desire to be little had taken control over his thoughts. all he wanted now was to be carefree and helpless like he'd felt before.

"Can't tell Liam you're out, you know how strict he is with things like this. He'd cancel the holiday"

"No he wouldn't" Louis protested "probs just shout at me and say I'm acting up for attention"

"Why would he"

"Because it's all he ever does" Louis finally shouted "he finds me annoying now, I can tell. He doesn't look at me like he used to. He just complains and says I'm acting up. He won't baby me at all and it's not fair. I liked it alright there. I like it I promise but I don't wanna be big"