Reason I'm Not Updating That Often

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So, guys, I think you noticed I don't update as frequent as I used to.
I'm gonna tell you my story and all those reasons...

I was chubby since I was a kid and I got verbally bullied since the second grade of elementary school, even my crush that I like to this day did it. He started it all.

But, anyways, people never liked me and I was ways an outcast. But, for some reason, I still cared about those people. All of them. I was a good person

Was.

It all changed when I came to the sixth grade of elementary school and moved to another school. That's where all the suffering started.
I went to class with some kids that I used to go to kinder garden with.

They were the meanest.

They were all calling me fat, ugly and simply stupid.
With my eleven years, I realized what is like to be a broken person.

I became 'cold', but I still fucking cared about everything. I just bottled it in and didn't say it yo anyone. Not even to my best friend, my mom.

My mom.

She was also telling me I'm fat when I was just 8 years old. I don't want to remember how many times she said "its better if your cousin was my daughter, not you"

It hurt. Deeply.

And then the seventh grade... That's when I snapped.

We were casually all just playing volleyball when this one guy yelled at me. I yelled back for the first time, but the second time he yelled "how the fuck can you be so damn stupid!!!"

He screamed at my face, making me just run off to girls' locker room. I ignored my 'friends' and teachers calls, I just locked myself in the stall and begun crying.

Later, my class teacher came along with social worker.

Let's say I 'calmed down' and I went home.
She called my mom and when I came home, all my mom asked was

"Why did you cry?! You should hang out with all the kids in your class! You are getting crazy!!"

And, since then, I realized what's it like to be broken since kid age. And love problems with that crush that he bullied me. I still like him.

But, anyways... If you guys read this, thank you for listening. I'm gonna update soon, I promise ♥

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