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Epilogue
Forever
Napapikit ako nang dumaloy ang isang matapang na alak sa aking lalamunan. Damn!
"Dahan-dahan lang, Theo!" pagsaway ni Jasper sa akin.
Mabilis ko siyang binalingan nang tingin. A perfect jaw line, kissable lips, a manly eyebrow and his pointed nose. Bakit 'di ko nalang itinuloy ang pagnanasa sa mga katulad niya?
Never in my life have I questioned my gender. Only the day I fell in love with her.
My tears fall down as my heart sank. Bumalik ang ala-alang pilit kong kalimutan. Why can't it be me? Bakit? Bakit siya pa rin? Mas marami namna ang napagsamahan natin ah.
"Ikaw nalang pwede?" I whispered habang inilalaro ng paikot-ikot ang baso.
The music was too wild. The people inside here are like a prisoners who just got out from the jail, after so many years. But here I am, drinking and analysing my thoughts.
"Marami ka naming lalaki, noon ah. Why don't you call them? Meet them here...and had fun?" he suggested.
Napangisi ako. Boys. Oh sure, they are my happiness before baka naman hanggan pa rin ngayon 'di ba?
"No need." Mabilis kong inilakbay ang mga mata sa dagat nang sumasayaw na mga tao. Trying to search my 15th victim after she left me.
"ha?"
My eyes lock to the guy who's wearing a gray v-neck. I drink again while looking at him. Not really my type, pero pwede na. "May nakita na ako."
I stood up. Hindi na ako napigilan nila Alex at Jasper.
Like I always do, I dance like a slut gay. Giving a flirty dance to the men. Men are snakes. Wala silang pinipiling kakagatin basta lang ay mapaligaya mo sila. Kaonti lang ang mga lalaking nagmamahal sa mga tulad namin.
And the next thing I know, I stop dancing. I stop flirting. I was standing in the middle of the crowd. Crying and asking myself again.
'I did everything for her, but why did she still choose to leave?'
***
It's been months, and I decided to be back the way I was. Katulad noon, hindi ako lalabas nang bahay hangga't wala pang baby cream, lipgloss at check tint ang aking mukha. Duh, beauty can attract fafa's. Kung wala kang beauty then goodbye heaven life ka.
Well, I haven't done it with boys. I just don't like it.
Parang mali kasi eh. Or maybe it is still not my time. Hihi.
Napagsunduan namin ni lovelysis na magkita sa malapit na restaurant sa kanyang work place. Hindi na kasi kami nagkikita, eh. We are both busy adult. She's busy with her work and I'm busy with my night life too.
Kung may attendance yata ang mga mamahaling bar, perfect na ako!
Napahalumbaba ako habang nakatingin sa labas. I'm waiting for her. Duh, dapat talaga hindi ako on time pumunta dito eh. I know my sister very well. Alas onse ang kasunduan, alas dose na darating 'yun. Ganon siya eh.
Habang naghihintay ako, pinagmamasdan ko nalang ang mga kotseng dumadaan. Katapat nang resto na kinaupuan ko ngayon ay isang Filipino restaurant.
Sumimangot ako. I only tasted sinigang and also afritada as a Filipino dish. I haven't tried anyone other than that. I'm obsess with foreign dishes kasi.
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