15 Reasons Why | "You Could Save Her?"

Cassette 3: Side B

Ah, an adult for once. A mother of my Ex: MaryLu Ballester. I do hope you and your son listen to your own tapes. Isn't it great? It's like listening to your own death. Don't worry, no ones gonna kill you, Mary, or your son. And his brother, Felix. Oh, I actually remember you three! How's Mr. Ballester? Never got to meet him. Oh well.
Anyways, the day of my Dance performance, middle school, I got to meet you in person. You shook my hand. Your fake nails were already a sign. And I should have taken my senses for a change. Stupid me. Am I right? Heh. You never liked me. Admit it. To add, and before me, when Miguel was with my friend, you called her a slut. Why? Because she was a little overweight? Because she was into something different? When Miguel was with my other friend, and thank god you didn't meet her, you'd call her a retard. I know it. You wanted only blondes in his life. A little racist, Mary~ Maybe thats why your husband cheats on you. But I'm just a "stupid mental kid" like you said. A "liar".  Just like you wanted it to be. Aren't you happy? You changed me. Mentally abused me. Mentally killed me. And you probably did. You didn't let Miguel hang out. At all. Not even for 30 minutes. You called me a "witch". "Witchcraft" is what you tagged me. And I hated it. I hated it so bad I cried. Anyways, the day after the crisis, about me getting brutally knocked off by another student and limped all the way home. You and Miguel came straight to my home. And asked questions. Making the situation even more of a big deal even when I said it wasn't. But, it all led to David. He was the one being the leader in this. And those notes. The ones David wrote to throw us off. I have the originals. Mary, they weren't for your son. They targeted me. Those people. Were David's little team. Ever wonder where those bruises and black eyes came from? Miguel thought they were "makeup". You all did.
I don't remember what the notes clearly meant. I'll have to see them again to draw back my memories. A little sad. It's been too long. Dealing with this, I mean. Mary, you wanted us to break up. I could sense it in you.
"Tell her. And do it today." You said in spanish. Puerto Rican. Miguel shrugged and we walked off to the garage. Since the park and other places were "too scary". You didn't trust me. But he didn't. Why? Because he didn't want to. I was the only thing to escape you, Mary. Funny..I feel like I just met another Mary..
I felt a sharp pain in my heart. An adult told Rikkun that?..
Mary, you wanted me out of his life. You hated me. Didn't you?
I could hear her voice crack. She's trying not to cry. I wish I could hold her..
Of course you did. You payed someone to curse me. Now I know, Im not "religious" but I have a gift. Some people understand. My grandmother has. My..mother.. my siblings, then me. However, I'm a little different. I have more than the average. So maybe, being called a "witch" wasn't so bad. I lied. It still hurts. My headaches became worse those days. I felt sick. I was throwing up more often. I skipped school. I cried more. Wasn't depression. God I hate that word. Makes me snap. I was able to lift it. And that lady? I could sense she wanted to see me in person. So after the day Miguel and I broke up, all thanks to you, I changed a few weeks later. Cut my hair. Changed my whole personality. Only certain can see. Sad, Mary, you did this major part to me. You raised a bunch of girls. Because you can't see your son with anyone else but you. That's a whole different relationship. A whole different love.
Her voice gains back.
You hate hearing this. The truth. Because you put your son in the dark. You chained him with a leash that burns him. You are the witch. Not me. Don't try to bother taking these tapes to the cops. You wouldn't want to look like a lunatic, would you~ I mean, you are listening to a "mental girl". Grow up, you can't even fix your sharpie looking ass eyebrows. Your nails look like play-doe. You hair looks like a horse tail. I could go on, but I'm a good girl. Good girls don't hold guns. But I want to. Not to you or me. Or anyone. But for a job I am wishing to join. Hopefully.
She sighs.
These tapes are out of order. I probably should add more to David. Yeah? That's all what you all are interested. Lost my virginity. Which is not true. And all sorts of rumors. All sorts..
Rikkun..
Lets see, before "dating" Miguel.. David you were really over-controlling. And over-"heavy". See what I did there? Not a joke, but hell you are.. my hands shake thinking about it.
What did he do, Rikkun? I could feel my fists tightening.
You pinned me. Wasn't a wall. Didn't hurt as much as the dance..but..I hate being under you. Being pushed around like some kind of prostitutions' job. Maybe thats why now I'm so..numb and insecure. You ripped my old gray jacket. It was cold. No, nothing major or "good" happened. I guess, I'm lucky..
S-so lucky..
I pause the tape. David was a sick person. I might just have a talk with him. I will.