15 Reasons Why | "You Could Save Her?"

Cassette 14: Side A

There was a lot of things I wanted to be. Girl things. Like Cheerleading, but I never came through for it. I wanted to be that perfect like them. Aside from flexibility. Sad thing is, whenever I look at them, I felt sad and sometimes I want to hate them. I wanted nice things like they had. Flawless. Perfection.

So that game night, I saw a girl I knew who was in Cheer. Two girls in fact. They gave me an odd look.

Mandujano and Foreman. Strange last names.

I didn't bother walking out or anything. Didn't bother to sit down. I'm happy you two made it up there, but why the glare? I looked away and up at the night sky. "You OK?" Clay asks. I nod my head and smile. He had to leave anyways.

Took me away to give me that long night kiss.
I'd wish it was longer with no limits.

I left back to the lighted area glancing at the jewelry they had selling. They were nice. I guess. "You actually joined that?" I turn to see Mandujano. I didn't answer at first. "I thought you'd take the Nurse route."
"Maybe I like this class?" I told her raising my brow. She looks me up and down, "I thought you'd be joking. I wouldn't had join that. Too dirty."
I remember I narrowed my eyes automatically. Girls like her made me hate them. A few other girls above Cheer came over. White glittery shine. "ROTC? You're small for that." One had said.
I turned and walked away.
"Hey! I was talking to you. You're gonna disrespect a Senior?"
I turned around. I mocked them, "Oh I'm a pretty Cheer girl, my skirt so short cuz I want someone to dick me down~"
She scuffs me, "Why you little bitch!"
"Uh- profanity, babies are round here."
She smiles, "So is your class instructor."
"So?"
The girls look at each other. Disbelief. "Look," I started, "You Cheers go back in the stupid game. Dance whatever basic dance you got. Leave me alone."
"Says the one who dated a stupid re-"
I yank her ponytail, arm still sore, "Rephrase that, hunny. You think my class taught me this? Think again. Unless you want blood lips than lipstick please do apologize for you concerning statement. Leave my boy alone. You don't have one. You joined Cheer to get attention. I know that little trick. I joined my class for realization." I let her go and she holds her head. The girls look at me. I know I wasn't supposed to do that, but no one had them over me like that. "You have no pride at all."
I fold my arms, hurting still, "And you care more about beauty than the ones suffering down somewhere else. Like suicide and bullying, things like that."
"Yeah that's not our-"
"Tch! Just walk away little ladies."
"You don't tell us what-"
"Walk. Away." The girls roll their eyes and leave. I grin.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I look next to me. Gunth. I felt my knees lock. "S-sir?"
"Were you nervous about joining this?" He looks down at me. "A little."
"I was having doubts about you, but I gave you a chance. I'm surprised you kept position. I like you." I smile, "It's fun."
"Fun?"
"I-I mean, I laugh here and there.." I look down a little, "Made friends."
He laughs a little, "You are something else, kid." He gives me a pat and walks off to see the other students.
I glance at the smaller kids running around for a moment. I place my earbuds in and blasted music, leaving the area to the Library.

I remember looking through the fence line watching the game continue. My veins were out, stressed and tired.

I didn't want to go home. I miss my old home.
And I can't wait.

I walked on the small edge of the bridge to cross, like a black cat. Balanced.

Too can play that game.