15 Reasons Why | "You Could Save Her?"

Cassette 7: Side B

Fights have been living on me for a good time now. No one would see my in fights because I'd usually keep it at a low level. And fighting is a way to release anger. To let loose. Everyone must remember my good old blackeye. I got that from a boy who wanted me to butt out of a relationship from his girl. Even though clearly he was that abusing type. The bruises on my knees were from David hitting me down on a hard wooden floor. He thought it'd be funny to "boss" me around. The ankle bruises were from my trainers, since they insisted my ankles and legs needed to be stronger. My arm bruises were from trainers and a relative; who disliked the fact of me dating another blood. She hit me pretty hard. I can go on and on, but I think these were mid scratches. Arguments are such a waste but don't we all have to do them? Whenever I try, I always get blamed. It's the same old story. Either that or I'm dragged into things that I had no clue about.

"Kaveman", this is your tape. I never knew your name, so I'd call you Kave. One day, you texted me. Well, on my photo.
"You look beautiful."
Unsure of who you were I texted you saying, "Thanks."

"We should meet up someday."

I remember taking a long pause to think, "I don't think we've met, how does that work?"

"We use to walk together with a friend back when you were in Middle."

"Oh, I'm sorry I never remembered you."

"Yeah well, I have a crush on you. Back then and now that I have you texting I thought we'd talk."

"Oh..well, sorry to break it to you, but I'm kinda already with someone."

"Oh no that's okay. Must be nice."

I didn't want to hurt your feelings at all Kave. "Yeah, I mean, we can still talk?"

"Well, what do you do for fun?"

"I guess draw and listen to music. Sometimes play video games. How about you?"

"Games. Media. Music. Track. Football team. Eat and masturbate pretty much."

"Ok?" That was more uncomfortable than anything in my life. At least, then it was.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me. I mean, it doesn't seem like it."

"No, I just didn't understand you?"

"Wait, you're clean?"

"Yes?.."

Funny story to add. I was in class one day. I think a couple weeks before in a relationship with Clay. A friend was yapping about weed and other stuff. Since I'm clueless at what it was, I still am, he gave me an odd look. "Rikkun, you know, you're real pretty. I like you, but not like that."
"Okay? Thanks?"
"I know you're still a virgin."
I felt myself blush in embarrassment. "Don't worry," he said, "I can tell. And I don't judge you."

Me and that guy are still distant friends. He's cool.

"Well no wonder," Kave texted, "Of course, you're a Christian girl."

"Um.. cool?"

We had stopped texting for a good long month. More than that. And the question of virginity was placed. It was like a whole new sport now. A whole race maybe? Thinking of it makes me feel so embarrassed. As if I stepped onto the wrong path.

Last day of school, freshman year. I walked home that day. As I walked I saw you Kave. Your frow grew a light brownish color that glows darkly in the sun. You had grown since I've seen you back then. You never saw me. "Kaveman?" I shouted to you. You stopped from crossing the street to look to me. You then realized who I was. "Rikkun? Holy shit. You walk here?" I catch up to you, "Yeah, sometimes."
"You look, beautiful today."
"Thank you," I remember shying out. Not because I liked you, but because I was just a shy person. If you were to give me a complement or whatever flirt I'd always shy out.