15 Reasons Why | "You Could Save Her?"

Cassette 4: Side A

Might as well pop the next case in as I walk home.
Play.
Didn't think you all would listen to me talk. I'm amazed. In fact, I thought you would trow these tapes away. But you are not my problem. Anyways, back to middle school. Shall we, Felix?
I met you in science. Along with another boy who we will shortly say. I. At that time I was still with Miguel. You always pushed me around. Pinched me. Shoved me. And till now, you pushed my backpack with you arm. Jerk. Yeah we were friends, but to me you were just a random person I talk to. But you knew. You sat with them too. And laughed.
"You're so gullible!" You'd say that to me all the time. You'd throw eraser shavings on me. Kick my seat. You were a little jerk. Lets sum it all up: you are a jerk. Felix Mouton? "Moo-ton". Never could say that last name of yours. Or spell it. Honestly, let me put this out, you're pretty ashy. You could've been the next Filth Frank, with that voice acting. Anyways one day, as I walked to english, you caught up to me. "Where ya going?"
"None of your business" I scuffed. I didn't want to talk to you. You had already pissed me off. "Rude, little shit." The side of  your whole body slammed me against the wall. A brick concrete wall of marble and all sorts of things. It doesn't hurt more than the fall I took before spring break. But still. My shoulder was paralyzed. My whole arm seem to had pulled a muscle. My right arm. I couldn't write much till then. You left laughing going downstairs. I'd hope you trip and break your neck, but that didn't work. I'm no witch. Mary and Miguel. Either way, Felix, you never leave me alone. Even you would follow me to the library in the mornings. Stalker. You knew David. And you told him everything. The day I came to school with my black eye. My first one. At lunch, Xavier you weren't too happy about it. Miguel you asked but you never did anything, same goes to Xavier. The girls wanted to report to the stupid anonymous app from the school but there's no point. My name was a mess already. Thanks David. I'm not telling who gave me such a bad black eye. You figure it out. Felix, you just laughed. "Oh that's just makeup". No. It hurts when I blink. It sometimes burns. I tried covering it with makeup, but there wasn't no point. Its gone now. All my black eyes are gone. But it looks like I haven't slept for days now. I hate glasses. Felix you'd snatch my glasses. "Oh you really are blind". Well no shit! Maybe that's why I don't wear them as much as I use to. Admit it, you look like Trump.
I wanted to laugh. Rikkun was so mad it was adorable. I hit myself in the head, I'm wrong for laughing. That other world thing ran in my mind.
Felix, just stop. The rumors you hear of me. Stop telling me. Stop showing me. Just stop. Eric told you the same things.
Just make it stop..
Her voice was covered. I'm guessing by her hands. She didn't want to cry. She weeps, silently.
Felix you knew. You knew and you still continue to do it. I'm surprised I haven't pulled anything else. Strange, I continue to live. Continue living. That day, I wanted to end myself. But I couldn't. I held the razor to my skin, my shoulder, I was nauseous of my veins. I still am. I couldn't. I couldn't even touch my skin. To threw the razor away. Telling myself, "Rikkun, no. There's something waiting for you." I kept telling myself that each day. I was afraid. Not of cutting myself. I was afraid of something. I guess..my veins..so I wore jackets. I didn't dare to see my veins much then. They make me sick. I still don't know why..
Poor Rikkun..So, she never did cut before? So..did she lie to make herself feel strong? Why didn't she say anything? To a teacher at least? Why was no one helping her!? What was going on!? I paused the tape. I need answers!
I sped up on my walking. Almost running.