alive [h.s.]

Chapter 7

Allison's POV

I close my copy of 1984 and push my glasses up on the bridge of my nose. Nick will probably be home soon, I should make him something to eat. I get off the couch and open the freezer, scanning my options.

"Chicken strips it is." I say to myself when my phone vibrates against the counter top.

I turn on the oven to preheat and run to pick up my phone, looking at the text from Harry.

*I'll be home soon if you still want to talk. Would you mind waiting at my apartment for a few minutes until I get there?*

I text him back telling him I'll go over there now. Turning the oven off, I pull on my Converse over my blue and pink mismatching socks, standing up to leave. When I reach Harry's apartment, I'm relieved to find that Dylan is not in it again. Something else is missing though. I can't decide what it is.

I sit on the couch and pick at my fingernails until Harry comes, afraid to touch something else that will get me in trouble. Soon, the apartment door opens and Harry walks in.

"Hello." I smile, turning around on the couch to face him as he puts his keys down on the counter.

"Hi, sorry about earlier I was.." Harry trails off and squints his eyes at me, "are you wearing glasses?" He says confused.

"No." I say as my hands fly up to my face, quickly pulling them off.

"Yes you were," Harry chuckles, "I just saw them."

"Well forget that you saw them. I only use them for reading and never wear them out. I just forgot."

"I don't understand why people are embarrassed of glasses. I thought they looked nice on you." Harry smirks at me and I blush, looking down at my hands again.

After a beat of silence, Harry speaks again, "Sorry about what happened on the phone today, I was really busy."

"Yeah I could tell, who was that girl?" I smirk at him.

"My uh..personal motivator." Harry says running his fingers through his hair.

"Motivator of what..your dick?" I say and my smile grows wider as I laugh. Seeing Harry uncomfortable is different, he's normally so confident.

"No," he says defensively, "we're both members at the gym by the grocery store."

"Really? Than you wouldn't mind if I called and asked if you were there today?" I laugh, challenging him further.

"Fuck you," Harry tries to sound intimidating but his stifled laughter and dimpled smile gives him away. "God you're annoying." He says walking over to the couch and sitting next to me.

"Either I'm an idiot, or I caught you in a compromising position today." I smile and poke Harry in the abdomen as he swats my hand away.

"I don't want to talk about it." Harry says with a straight face.

"Why? Don't most guys boast about things like this?" I question him.

"Not around other girls." Harry says looking at me as if it's obvious.

"You mean not around me?" I clarify for him.

"Especially not around you." Harry replies, resting his arm on the back of the couch.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

"Harry, we're not a couple. You don't have to lie to me when you're with a girl." I say, not sure if I totally mean it.

"I know I just..it felt weird, like I was cheating on you or something." Harry says and my breath hitches in my throat as his words allow me to recall painful memories.

"Well you don't have to feel guilty. From what your friends said before, you do this a lot. Don't let me stop you." I shrug and settle back into the couch.

"Don't make it sound like I'm some incorrigible womanizer." Harry defends. He's starting to sound angry.

"Aren't you?" I ask.

"What? Like you've never had sex before?" He scoffs.

"I never said that!" I retort and notice the drastic turn this conversation has taken.

"Well you didn't say that you did."

"If you must know, I have done it. One time." I'm not sure why I feel so comfortable discussing my private life so openly. I guess my need to defend myself takes precedence over my need for privacy.

"Bullshit Allison." He spits with a dubious expression on his face.

"You think I'm lying?" I retort and Harry settles back into his chair, his expression changing again. Pity and disbelief, I think.

"You've only been touched once?" Harry says lowering his voice.

"Yes. I don't give myself to people who don't care about me. It just turned out that person was only pretending to care, than they totally screwed me over. I regret ever being with him and definitely regret losing my virginity to him." I say as the tone in both of our voices calms down.

"Does he have a name?" Harry asks resting his other arm on his leg.

"Hayden. I don't like to talk about him."

"I can see why. He sounds like an asshole." Harry says and I can feel my eyes starting to sting, and I beg myself not to cry.

"He could be so sweet sometimes though. If you knew him, you would've been as shocked as I was when I found out."

"Well he must have been an idiot than too, if he was willing to ruin a relationship with you." Harry smiles.

He scoots closer to me and pulls me to his chest, surprising me. Eventually I allow myself to hug him back and we sit quietly for a little too long. I pull away from him, trying to maintain some of my dignity. Harry tried to push the hair away from my face, but I gently push his hand away.

Sure Harry is annoying and cocky most of the time, but part of me wants to think that's not really what he's like. Here he is, comforting me over my horrible relationship. Maybe he does care about me.

If he cared about you, he wouldn't be messing around with other girls, and lie about it,my subconscious remarks.

I guess she's right. He can't care about me that way, he was just with some other girl. As I come to this realization, I decide it's not good for me to be here right now.

"I have to go. Nick will be home soon and I have to make him dinner." I say standing up.

"Do you want me to come?" Harry offers starting to stand up.

"No." I answer too quickly and Harry sits back down.

I appreciate his offer but I can't keep leading myself on. He was fucking some girl earlier this afternoon, I can't let myself think he might care about me, it'll screw everything up.

"Thank you though. I'll see you later." I leave Harry in his apartment and enter my own.

Closing the door, I lean my forehead against it. I can admit that I have a hard time letting people in and I can admit that I have a tendency to shut people out. But I'm finding it harder to admit something else to myself.

I'm developing feelings for Harry at a dangerously fast pace, and I don't know what the fuck to do about it.

.

shit is about to get intense

x