alive [h.s.]

Chapter 35

okay this gif makes me so emotional because his hands remind me of Harry's

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Harry's POV

As soon as I'm out of the building, I take out my phone. I'm unable to stop my hands from shaking as I dial Allison's number. I take a moment, thinking about what I want to say. I should've waited until I knew what I was going to say.

"Harry?" Allison answers and I panic.

Fuck. This was dumb.

I calm myself down as best as I can. "Hi babe, how are you doing?" I try to relax the shakiness in my voice.

"Um," Allison says and I hear something clatter in the background. "I'm all right. Dad and I are trying to make pizza, but we're not doing very well." Allison laughs and my heart warms.

"What about you? You okay?" Allison continues and my eyes begin to burn.

I swallow hard and blink my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying. "Yeah, I'm okay." I choke the words out. God, this is impossible.

"No you're not. Hold on, give me a second." Allison says. I hear her mutter something to her dad followed by the sound of a door closing. I assume she's in her room now. "Okay, tell me what's wrong."

"How'd you tell so easily?"

Allison laughs on the other end. "A few indicators. One, I love you, I can just tell. Two, you never call me, I figured something was wrong." Allison says and laughs again.

I laugh too, but my temporary happiness is met by immediate sadness. I guess there's no point in delaying it, but I don't want to do this over the phone. "Can I come pick you up?" I ask her, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"That's okay, I'll come to you. Where are you?"

I hear her grab her car keys and say goodbye to her dad. "Meet me at the park."

"Okay, love you."

"I love you." I say solemnly before ending the call.

I get in my car and drive to the park, all the way trying to think of what lie I'm going to tell her now. My mind is absolutely blank. I can't think of anything but how unfair this is. I sit at the park bench, waiting for her.

After a few minutes, I look up and see Allison getting out of her car. I watch as she approaches. She straddles the bench, taking the spot on the bench next to me. She stares into my eyes, saying nothing. A look of complete understanding overwhelms her features. How can she possibly understand? She knows nothing. But she's here for me. She's here for me when I'm going to leave her. I'm going to leave this beautiful, kind, and understanding woman without so much as a goodbye. She's going to resent me, but it's for her safety. I promised to keep her safe, whatever it takes.

Inevitably, my eyes begin to burn. Somehow, I'm able to stop the tears from rolling down my face. Allison places her arms around my neck, hugging me.

"Harry. Talk to me."

I guess there's no point in wasting any more time. I pull away and look her dead in the eyes. "I have to leave for a few days." I say, regaining my composure. Luckily, my tears subside.

"Oh. Where are you going?" She says and I look away.

I can't make eye contact with her, I'm too ashamed. Here I am, lying to her when she's been nothing but honest with me. Maybe it's good that I'm leaving. She'll be better off without the destruction I bring.

"I'm going to visit my parents." I lie and Allison's face lights up.

She grabs my hand and smiles at me. "Harry, that's amazing. Why do you seem so sad?" She asks, her happiness transitioning to worry.