The Unexpected | LotR Fanfiction

Chapter 48

Trembles shook the bed, my heavy blankets helping to hold in the heat emanating from my body. A body with heat. Not cold, like death.

I held myself tighter, my humid breath nearly suffocating under the covers. No tears fell, I was not sad. I was terrified.

The same dream haunted me every night. It came again.

And again.

And again.

It never left, never stopped. It was like a songbird, singing the same tune over and over.

Other dreams of innocents dying, screaming their rage haunted me. Nightmares of Saruman and his knife. Of Sauron and me leading an army. My hand killing children and mothers, husbands fighting for their families.

But this one always began them. Always followed them. Bookends. As if I forgot it the first time, it would remind me later.

The images, the pain, the frantic soundless screams, the terror all seemed so vivid. It left me aching in my chest, surprising me when I awoke to cool air.

It wasn't a nightmare.

It was far, far worse.

*********

I only had five days left in this suffocating stone refuge. Which meant I had business to attend to. The other things could wait until after. I would have plenty of time to talk to him... or convince myself not to do it.

"Please, let me help."

The nurse—the fifth I had gone too—shook her head. "I'm sorry, my lady, but there is nothing you can do." Nothing of low enough skill, she means.

I took no offense. Although many of the wounded were now healed enough that all that was required was a dosage of medicine and a cool cloth to the head, there was more than enough apprentices to do that. The massacre may have reaped death, but it also reaped a great deal of rising healers. Of the wounded who were beyond the skill level of an apprentice, the veteran healers tended to them. I didn't dare ask to help with that. I did not have the skill, and once ago I wouldn't have had the stomach but... maybe seeing the insides of orcs spill to the ground changed that. Or maybe it was seeing so much of my own blood, I was now accustomed to seeing others.

I came to Rohan to help, but all that I had done so far was panic and stare out over a wall. I wanted to do something meaningful. Something tangible.

I picked my way through the fortress towards the small training grounds. Helms Deep was meant to be a place where trained warriors could fight, the architect did not take into account that a large number of soldiers would be trained here. Most of the grassy area was used for the horses. The archery targets were crammed together, several arrows protruding from the haystacks. Multiple circles had been painted on the grass for a sparing area. Young boys waved around their wooden swords carelessly, determination edged into their brows.

I approached, plastering a smile on over my soaring headache. "May I join?"

The two boys jumped, one of them dropped his wooden sword. They were no older than ten.

The one who dropped his sword looked hesitant, "umm..." He glanced over at his companion who bounced eagerly, a wide enthusiastic smile brightening his face.

"Yes! Can you teach us?!"

I nodded. "Of course," I answered, looking between the two. They both had blond hair and blue eyes. Most everyone here did.

"Are you brothers?"

"No!" exclaimed the one who dropped the sword. The other shook his blond head, smiling.