To Raise the Dead- Book Three

Ch. 1- We Didn't Have Forever

Why does tragedy exist?

Because you are full of rage.

Why are you full of rage?

Because you are full of grief.

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I could see her now. Her hair was the color of brightly colored blood. While her skin was as pale as ever. But she was different, I could feel it deep in my chest. No, she wasn't here. She was no longer alive. 

I was incapable of moving toward her, my feet were planted on the ground. Like I was trapped. There was nothing I could do as I watched her stab herself in the heart. As I watched Elora sacrifice herself for the people she loved. Again.

She fell to the ground instantly and I finally managed to run towards her, holding her wound so she wouldn't bleed out. Her eyes were full of fear as she cried, "Please don't let me die."  

"I promise you it won't happen," I sobbed. "You have to live."

"You broke that promise, Sebastian," she whispered, managing to keep her eyes open. "I will never forgive you for it." 

I woke up in a panic as sweat rolled down my forehead and chest. It was a dream. Seeing Elora was just another dream I had. Without realizing it, I felt around the other side of my bed, wondering if she will be there. If she will comfort me as I did to her when she had a nightmare. She will not. Because she is dead. I had to bury her myself. 

I sat up straight and rubbed the stubble that was now grown on my face. There was no energy left in me to keep it contained anymore. I had no energy for all the things that I had before she died. Was this part of the grieving process? I asked myself. 

Elora is dead. She is dead and not coming back. Everyone I have ever loved is no longer with me. And I hate it. I want her in my arms again, to have her eyes staring at mine one last time. It's been four months and I have never felt so alone. So raw. So undead. 

She was the one person that brought me back from everything. The only one that kept me from feeling numb. I loved her with all my heart, with everything that I have. I would risk everything just to be with her forever. But we didn't have forever. Fate made sure of that. 

Those seconds -- those half seconds -- felt like they could last forever. The moments that I could tell that I was going to love her for as long as I live. And it was all gone in a flash when she let out the last breath on this earth. 

I twisted and went to pick up the syringe that was on my bedside table. But what I found was my sister, Ellie, staring at me like she was going to murder me. And the syringe and the vile of liquid in each hand. 

"Jesus, how long have you been standing there?" I yelled, a sudden panic rose in my throat as she must have found out about what I was doing ever since we laid Elora's body in a casket, next to my other family that was no longer alive. 

She took one long deep breath as her violet eyes darkened with rage. "It's been four months, Sebastian, four months since she died," Ellie started to say. "And I had to watch you lose complete control over yourself. Over the country," Ellie looked at the items in her hand finally, then me with now sad eyes. "I know you miss her, but this is not the way to do it. You could end up dying if you keep doing this." 

My brows furrowed. "First of all, I didn't expect you to care about my well-being or the country for that matter, since you haven't said a word to me since her funeral." I paused. "And second of all, you do not lecture me on how I grieve."

My sister sighed as the anger rose again. I ignored her as I stood up and walked to my closet. I put on a shirt as I heard her finally speak.

"I wanted to be alone too," she whispered as I now back in my room. "We lost a lot of people, Sebastian, and I couldn't face you knowing that you are going through the same pain as I. I wanted to blame you for their death."

My eyebrows furrowed. How can she say such a terrible thing? Why was I to blame. I lost everyone too. I wanted to agree with her, to put my arms around my sister. But I could not. There was nothing but the harsh words in my mind, as if it were speaking to me directly.

"Ellie, I am only going to say this once. Take it as you will, but I want you to leave me alone. You don't get to come in here after months and expect an apology." I raised my voice. "I was the one that lost everything. Yes, both of us lost every single member of our family, but I lost the love of my life. You don't know what that feels like."

She was avoit to speak but I cut her off. "I want you to leave me alone to my own grief. It's what you do best, after all."

"That's not fair!" she screamed back at me. "You don't get to treat me like I'm a piece of trash left on the street. I am your sister, and the second in line to the throne and if it comes to it I will --"

Anger boiled in my blood then. "What? You will tell the Counsel of my incompetence of ruling the kingdom. You'll overthrow me? Your brother?" I asked.

"If it comes down to it." she said with a lethal calm.

My eyes were in slits. "You don't know the first thing of ruling Ambrosia."

"No, but I can learn." her hair moved as she took a step toward me, ready to strike if necessary. "You go down this path, Sebastian. And you're never coming back from it. I will make sure you do."

"Get out." I told her. "Get out or I will make you leave. And never come back, I don't want to see you ever again."

"She was right." Ellie said to me, who now stood at my doorway.

"Who was?"

"Elora." she murmured. "She was right about you."

I tilted my head. "About what."

"You're selfish and all you think about is yourself. She told me once that you were a monster, I just didn't believe it because you are my brother. But now I do. Now that you lost the one person that could actually redeem you, you are back to that person that everybody hates." My sister held her gaze to me. "I hope that thing slowly kills you."

And then she was gone.

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