Renesmee's Story (A Twilight Fan Fiction) *BEING EDITED*

Chapter 9- Part 4

"What am I going to do about him?" I mutter to myself. "He won't stay away. How can I protect him? He is so frustrating! I'm trying to do what is best, can't he see that?!" My voice starts to rise but I don't care. I keep pacing as I cannot stand still. "If I'm with him or anyone I can hurt them . . . need to take control . . . need to fix this . . . cannot-"

"Nes!" mum exclaims, standing in front of me to stop me from pacing. She grabs my hands in hers and lowers her head so I am looking her in the face. "Renesmee, stop!" I stop muttering to myself and look at her.

"What is wrong with me?" She wraps her arms around me but I don't hug back- I leave my arms by my side.

"You will be fine. We will fix this, we will find someone to help. You will get through this," she reassures me.

"I don't want him anywhere near me, mum. I can't hurt him, I don't know how I would deal with it if I did. I-"

"I understand, it's fine. If you want him to stay away-"

"Yes, this is what I want."

"OK, then he won't know a thing from me. I will try as best as I can to stop him from getting involved."

"Thank-you," I say as I raise my arms and wrap them around mum for a hug. We stand there for a while, in the embrace, and I am the one to step out of it first. Mum and I both sit down on the couch and I turn the TV on, flicking through channels.

"There is nothing on. To pass time at night I guess I'll have to download some new movies to entertain myself."

"Your father use to write in journals, or diaries, whatever you want to call it. I started writing one too."

"Why?"

"What you want to do, pass time I guess. Living for a long time has its negative points too, Nes. Memories are precious, this way you can remember everything. After everything with the Volturi I kept a diary, I didn't know what else to do."

"Really?"

"Yeah. When you would be asleep I'd write in it. There is a lot about you in mine, growing up and everything." She gives a slight smile.

"Could I . . . perhaps, read it some time?"

"Of course, if you want to. But first . . ." she looks at me for a second. "I think we should go speak to Carlisle about you, just to see if he knows anything."

"I'll just go grab my shoes," I say as I stand up from the couch.

I am just about to leave the living room and go upstairs but at that moment dad walks into the living room from the front door entrance. He looks at me and frowns. Mum looks at me also, some invisible message which has been sent from dad to her without me knowing. I didn't even realise dad wasn't home; I was too busy with all of the issues I have caused on my mind.

"What is it?" No answer. "What is going on now?"

"Jake is here," dad explained. I feel my eyes widen and I take a step forward towards the front door before I think otherwise. I stop and walk back into the hallway, towards the stairs that lead to the second floor.

"I'm not here."

"It'd probably be better if you spoke to him."

"Edward, she isn't here," mum declares. Dad nods and walks back out the front.

"I-"

"Go and get your shoes," mum says softly. I walk upstairs, trying not to talk or anything as Jake will probably be listening in to try and figure out where I am. He is worried about me. When I get into my room I walk over to my closest and turn the light on inside it. I walk inside and close my closest door so I can look behind it for my shoes. I find a pair of black ankle-height boots. I open my closest door and close it behind me. Fear, anger . . . love, all overwhelm me when I see who is now in my room who wasn't moments ago.

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*** I felt really bad about making all you amazing readers wait so I have wrote one more part, a teaser I guess :)  I think you all know who is now standing in her room.... Sorry but this is the last part for a week or two. 

Enjoy and thanks so much for reading my story xx ShanLouise ***