That Guy Named Eros (COMPLETED)

Chapter 49 - Won't Say Sorry

Roaming my eyes around, I could see how Erindale University welcomed the month of February. Mula dito sa kinatatayuan ko sa third floor ay natatanaw ko na ang mga preparations na ginagawa ng mga members ng SC para sa nalalapit na Valentine's Night. They were all putting extra effort to find time arranging the stuffs despite their busy classes. May mga naglalagay ng mga paper hearts decorations sa mga puno, may mga nagkakapit ng mga sticky notes and cards sa bulletin boards at iba pa.

I tried to concetrate my gaze at some bunch of college officers near a bulletin. The SC secretary, Shane looked like she was saying —or rather scolding her other colleagues about something. Napapailing na lang ako. I wonder how she won the SC elections with that kind of attitude.

"They're quite late. Second week na ng Feb ngayon" 

Napalingon ako sa tabi ko at nakita ko si Meg na lumabas galing sa classroom namin. Naglakad siya papalapit sa akin dito sa may railings at tumanaw rin sa ibaba.

"Hmm?"

"Sabi ko, yung mga preparations. Kung kelan second week na tsaka lang sila nag-aayos" dagdag niya naman tsaka tumingin sa akin.

These past few weeks... Meg and I had been quite awkward with each other. Hindi pa rin kase madali para sa akin ang lahat. I'm still trying not to care but I guess that's a lot of work. Isa pa...mukhang nahihiya pa rin siya sa akin dahil sa issue na yon.

But we're okay. No matter how I think of it...no matter how the other part of me blamed her for introducing me to him...I can't let it ruin our friendship. Hindi ko kayang hayaan na dahil don ay masira ang pagkakaibigan namin. 

I shrugged. "Ano ka ba? Syempre busy din sila. College life and all that" sabi ko. Parehas pa rin kaming nakadungaw sa railings.

"Uhm...sabagay. Midterms na rin ata nila eh" sagot niya naman. Katatapos nga lang pala ng midterms namin two weeks ago. I did my best to answer all the questions but then...I'm not as confident as before anymore. Yung rank ko? Bahala na kung anong mangyari. Basta nag-try naman ako.

I unconsciously diverted my eyes to the college buildings across. Weeks had passed but I still haven't got the guts to at least talk to him. Oo nagkikita pa rin kami dito sa University, nagkakasalubong paminsan-minsan pero as much as possible...umiiwas na ako. Siguro...mas okay na nga yon. Yung tipong balik na lang sa dati. When we still don't know each other. When we still don't care about each other's existence.

I never tried to look at him in the eyes. Eversince that day...that day when he held my arm...wala na ulit kaming close contact. Pag nakikita kong magkakasalubong kami, nagbababa na agad ako ng tingin at umiiba ng daan. Hindi ko alam kung hindi niya ba ako nakikita o hinahayaan niya lang akong umiwas. Whatever the case is, mas okay na ang ganito para sa akin. At least...hindi na niya akong makikitang umiyak at mag-break down sa harap niya.

Meg reached for my arm and heaved a sigh. 

"Wends...d-do you still like Kuya?" she asked all of a sudden I almost caught off guard. Napahigpit ang kapit ko sa railings. The pain slowly creeping its way back.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Am I really that stupid...if I'm still wishing that he meant what he told me? Na...na gusto niya ako?" I bit my lower lip to hold back my tears.

"Y-yeah. As stupid as it may be but I still like him. Heck, I don't even know why I still do." I answered. Konti na lang papatak na naman ang mga luha ko. 

Nakakainis. Nakakainis isipin na kahit hindi ko alam kung may pag-asa ba...umaasa pa rin ako. Gusto kong sisihin siya. Gusto kong magalit sa kanya. Kase...wala namang aasa kung walang paasa, diba?