Inhuman // Crankgameplays //

~35

I feel my body relax a little. I breath out; I totally forgot that I was holding my breath since the person in front me scared me.

Even the muscles in my face seem to relax and transform my expression into a poker-face. I look this person in the eyes.

His smile slowly seems to fade.

"Say something . . ." He desperately breaths out. His voice is shaky and his eyes turn slightly red, tears burning in the corners of his eyes.

"I don't know what to say," I simply say.

His hand loosens its grip on my shoulder and his arm falls to his side, eyes looking down. He sighs.

"What are you doing here?" I eventually ask after a period of silence and confusion.

He looks up. His expression shows that that period of confusion isn't over yet. "You know this isn't real, hm?" He cocks his head.

I chuckle. Does he think I'm dumb? "I'm aware, yes." Now I'm the one letting out a sigh. I'm unconscious, dreaming and then he decides to show up. After all these years. I heard he wasn't even there when I was born. He just left, without any warning. According to the people of my village, he was always there for her, a gentleman, but when I came, he immediately disappeared. When I say immediately, I mean as soon as he heard that my mom was pregnant. I have never liked my dad, even though he was nice to my mom. You don't just flee, when you hear your wife is pregnant. Fuck that. Not saying I like my mom either; she disappeared after some years, too.

The persons voice snaps me back to reality. This reality. "Everything okay?" he simply asks.
I look up at him, slightly annoyed.
"No," I say, "no, nothing is 'okay'. Nothing has ever been 'okay'!" With every word my voice gets louder and louder until I'm screaming. I see him take a step backwards. "Since the fucking moment I was born, nothing has been 'okay'. Even before that. The heck were you thinking?! Avoiding me all my life and when I'm unconscious you decide to show up?!"

Even though I'm screaming and losing myself in front of him, he remains calm and says, "I know, (y/n). I haven't made the right decisions, I'm aware of that, but-"
"No!" I interrupt, "no 'buts'! You should've at least tried to talk to me, tried to take care of me." My voice becomes softer until I'm almost whispering, "Tried to be a real dad . . . Unlike Mom . . . She disappeared as well." I look down at my feet.
"(Y/n)," he says, "again, I'm aware that my decisions weren't right. But you were never supposed to happen. Now, before you start screaming again, I'd like to explain myself. Look, I assume you now know that I'm a pixie. I've been the ruler of a particularly big kingdom. The thing is, it's not usual for pixies to fall in love with humans. It's not supposed to happen, I guess."
I'm actually listening. Surprisingly, I'm staying calm. I slowly sit down on a tree trunk. He does too.
"I fell in love with your mother. I was completely head over heels for her, but when she told me she was pregnant, I panicked. It made me realize what I was doing, which was something unacceptable. At least, for my kind of people. It was never meant to happen. Plus- please forgive me for saying this- you were a girl. You are. If you would've been a boy, I would've probably stayed. A boy could be the next in line to rule over my people."

"So I was an accident. And the wrong gender," I say, more to myself than to him. "Wow."

"It's never been your fault, (y/n), I made the biggest mistake falling in love with a human."
"But then why didn't you ever tell me? Did you even explain to my mom?"

He shakes his head, "I wrote a letter to your mom. I assume she never told you about it. In that letter I explained everything. I never got anything back." He stops for a second, sniffs and then continues. "And I couldn't tell you. Not until you were old enough, or would turn pixie."

"Ah," I say. It's the only thing that can come out of my mouth right now.

We sit there for a bit more. Just sit there. I never imagined that this would happen: turn pixie, and finally hear about my dad.
I understand him, in a way. Still, though, I wanna wake up. I wanna leave this hell, now.

He's explained everything and it's not that I don't get his point, it's more that I still blame him for not contacting me.
I blame my mom, too, for just getting rid of me like that. I lived on the streets for years. Eating from trash cans, stealing from stores. Eventually, people showed compassion and let me have dinner with them sometimes. Or lend me a place to sleep.
From all of them I heard that my mom took care of me for about five years or so. Then she disappeared and no one ever knew where she went.

"Dad?" I say. I hate the sound of it. 'Dad', blegh.
He looks up, "Hm?"
"Thank you," I say.
"What for?"
"At least you came to me after all these years."
"(Y/n), come here." He pulls me into a big hug. I hug back, to my surprise. It feels warm, all of a sudden. I've never experienced this before.

I notice a tear rolling down my cheek. Am I crying?
"It's okay, sweetheart, let it all go."

I am crying.

"(Y/n)!" I hear faint voices in the distance, calling my name. I don't look up, however. I don't want to leave this warmth.
"(Y/n)!" Again, those voices. What do they want?

"It's okay," my dad suddenly says, "you can go again. The transformation is complete. Your friends need you."

My friends! Shit! I had totally forgotten that I was in this weird dream world.

"Will I ever see you again?" I ask.
He nods, "I'm certain. For now, remember this: I love you, (y/n). Whatever might happen."

He then starts to fade away, into nothingness. It's weird. And I'm just sitting there, watching it wide-eyed like it's some sort of show.

The voices calling my name become louder, and louder. And the world around me becomes darker and darker.
Until it's pitch black.