Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Reader Imagines

I See Nothing

Warning: Angst, A little fluff, Swearing

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Everyone has a rough night. Some are worse than others. But sometimes, they can completely re-shatter a person.

Jason was having a life shattering night. Everything was going wrong. He failed in saving three people, one of them a kid. Five people were injured under his watch. Tim and Damian had gotten seriously hurt. He felt like he was fucking everything up.

Now Jason was running along a rooftop toward where he heard yelling. Reaching the side of the building he looked down into the alleyway, seeing three thugs backing a girl against a wall. One had a gun and the other two had knives. But the girl, she looked like you.

Not letting another innocent person die tonight he pulled out his two handguns. Taking aim and picking the three off within seconds of his draw. Putting bullets in their skulls. The girl shrieked as he jumped down.

"Are you hurt?" he asked gently. The girl shook her head signaling a 'no', but she was traumatized. "The police and an ambulance are on their way" he began to lead her out of the alleyway.

He waited until he heard the police sirens and saw the ambulance loop a corner.

Seeing that he grappled toward his and your apartment. Landing on the fire escape he pushed the window open. Entering through the living room window he saw a small amount of light filtering from the bedroom, you were still up.

Instead of greeting you, he went straight to the bathroom. Tearing off his gear as he went. He didn't want you to see him right now. He was ashamed.

You heard him come in the window. Looking up from your book and watching the doorway instead. Confused when he never came in you got out from under you blankets and set the book aside.

Walking to the doorway as goosebumps formed on your bare legs.

You looked out seeing the trail of gear heading to the bathroom. Picking up the articles as you followed his trail. Ending up at a closed bathroom door.

'Something must've happened' you thought, Jason only avoided you when he got home if something went wrong.

Placing his gear on a nearby table in the hallway before lightly knocking on the door.

"Jay?" you called softly. Hearing rustling on the other side off the door. You took a step back from the door when it clicked open.

"Hey babe" he said, sounding depressed. "What's the matter?" asking as you took a step toward him again and ran a hand through his hair.

"It's nothing, I'm fine" those words were empty, void of any emotion. He was holding his emotions back again, trying to sound ok. He wasn't fooling you.

"Jay, tell me what's actually wrong. You won't be able to come to terms with anything that happened tonight if you don't talk to me." He knew you were right but he just couldn't.

He walked back into the bathroom, leaning on his hands against the counter. You walked in and leaned on the door way.

Looking up into the mirror, staring at himself. "I'm such a fucking screw up" he began, shocked you didn't move from your position. You had allow him to let it all go.

Diverting his eyes to the ceramic counter he continued, "I-I couldn't save them. Three people died tonight because of me. And five were hurt. Not to mention Damian and Tim got severely injured. And instead of even trying to stop three guys I just put bullets through their brains. I promised you I'd only kill if it was necessary and and.." he sputtered, as tears threatened his eyes. He shut his eyes tight and clenched his fists.

Looking back at the mirror he only got angrier with himself. "I don't know how you can love me. I look at this mirror and I see a screw up. A street kid who shouldn't have ever been brought back. I see a fucking worthless life. I don't see anything worth living for, I see nothing!"

Your heart broke at his words, he'd never been this down on himself before. This was the first time you'd seen him break down. He bowed his head again as he finally let everything go. He sniffled and wheezed, causing your heart to break more.

Walking into the bathroom you began to rub small circles on his back. He wouldn't look at you. Trying to calm him down your hand continued it's motion, shushing.

He started to calm down, "Jay.. Jay look at me" you encouraged softly. Tugging on his upper arm to entice him.

When he finally stood in front of you and met his blue eyes with yours. Cupping his face before asking, "Do you want to know what I see?"

His expression turned to a small hint curiosity. Rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, "I see someone who's scarred. Someone who was broken when they were once solid. Who was sewn back together, in a different way then where they started. I see strength and kindness. Someone merciless yet gentle. Someone who cares deeply for the innocent people of this world and is willing to put their physical and mental health on the line for them. I see someone beautiful even when they're shattered. A man whose been through hell and back but still can see the light in the world. I see someone I love more than life itself."

You noticed his once tense muscles relax and his expression soften. "Jay, you're not worthless or a screw up. You may see nothing worthy, but I see something worthwhile." You smiled, your own tears trailing down your cheeks.

"I love you Jason, and no matter what happened out there I will always love you." you hugged him tightly. Your hands threaded through his hair. Arms wrapping around your waist as he completely relaxed. His head weighing on your shoulder.

"I don't deserve you" voice muffled by your shirt.

"Yes you do" Pulling his head off your shoulder and resting your forehead to his. "And don't you dare think otherwise"

"I love you so goddamn much" he shook his head before pulling you into the most loving and passionate kiss.

Pulling away you took his hand tugging him out of the bathroom. "You need sleep, and you're not going out tomorrow night. I'm calling out sick and we're going to stay in the apartment and enjoy each others company. You need a day off." You instructed as you lead him into the bedroom.

You handed him a pair of sweatpants when you entered the room. "Sound like a plan?" asking as he took the item.

"Yes ma'am" he kissed you again before changing into the sweatpants. As he changed you crawled back into bed and waited for him.

He did not take long to join you. When he got into bed with you he buried his head in your neck as you ran your hands through his hair. Emotionally and physically exhausted he fell asleep to the feeling of your hands in his hair.

Often you'd be the one wrapped in his arms in a protective manner, but tonight you were protecting him