Don't Follow Me

Don't Follow Me - Chapter 30

St. Claire's Mental Hospital

"Anong nararamdaman mo pag nakakapanakit ka ng tao?"

Hindi nakatingin si Melissa sa psychiatrist habang nginangatngat niya ang kuko niya.

"It feels great."

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how great was it?"

"8."

"Why is that?"

Huminto si Melissa sa pagngatngat ng kuko niya at tumingin ng diretso sa doktora ng hindi kumukurap.

"There's—there's part of me na ayaw ko siyang gawin." Pumikit si Melissa, at sinabing, "but it feels like I really really really really really have to do it."

"Why do you think you really have to do it?"

"Kasi—kasi I know I can be powerful. I feel powerful when I'm hurting the weaker one."

"Weaker one. Can you define that for me, of what does it mean to you?"

"Oh my god!" Sigaw ni Melissa habang nakatingin sa ilaw. "How come no one understand me?"

"I understand you, Melissa."

"Weaker one! Weaker one! Weak! It means, mahina! Not having any strength, slow and coward... walang laban!"

"So you consider your 'victims' as the 'weaker ones'?"

Nilakihan ni Melissa ng mata ang psychiatrist niya at pumatong siya sa lamesa nito.

"Yes, yes, yes! Right! You got it." Excited na sabi ni Melissa.

"I'm glad. Thank you for letting me know, Melissa."

Bumalik si Melissa sa kinauupuan niya.

"How weak are they?" Biglang tanong nung doktor.

Ang tagal bago sagutin ni Melissa ang tanong na yun.

Hanggang sa...

"10."

"Pauleen?"

"Solid 10."

"Daniel?"

Hindi agad nakasagot si Melissa nung narinig niya ang pangalan ni Daniel. Naluha siya nung naalala niya ito, at napa buntong hininga siya.

"I love him so much." Bulong niya na narinig ng doktor.

"I see."

"I love him so much." Ulit niya habang naluluha siya.

"On a scale of--"

"5." Sabat ni Melissa.

"5?"

"Yes, 5."

"I love him, 5. But he's a weak one, solid 10."

"Why do you think he's solid 10?"

"Sobrang duwag niya. He's nothing."

"Didn't you say you love him so much?"

"Yes."

"You only love him on a scale of 5?"

"That's right."