Shut Up And Kiss Me (Book 1 - Avengers)

~Chapter Sixteen: Here Have Some Fluff~

Bucky sighed and took his hands from his face, laying them on the bed. He shut his eyes for a moment and flashes of the horrible things he did flooded back. He proceeded to open his eyes and sit up, he needed a drink... water, booze, just something. Barnes stood himself up and looked at the clock, it was late... sometime just after two... He glanced at his shirt and inwardly thought 'Fuck it, who the hell else is gonna be awake at this hour?' The brunet stood up and headed out, soon wandering to the kitchen.

Natasha took a long sip of her drink and paused as she saw a figure move out of the corner of her eye, she carefully looked over the couch and into the kitchen to see a shirtless man getting a cup of water. "Hey?..." she murmured. James jumped and spilled some water, he then looked over wide-eyed. He could only see her mossy green eyes peeking over the couch, and some of her usually well kept red hair was now sticking up in crazy directions.

"Oh- hey... I uh- didn't know anyone was still up." James murmured as he grabbed a few paper towels and began cleaning up the water he'd spilled. Natasha just turned back around and curled back up into the corner of the couch, her back laid against the arm of it. She pulled her knees towards her a bit and took another sip of her cup, which was half full of a red wine she couldn't pronounce the name of.

"Are you... okay?" Barnes asked as he picked his cup of water up from the counter, he tossed the napkins in the trash and walked over to the couch, sitting on the other end.

"Yea... just can't sleep... What about you?..." Romanoff's voice was soft and frail, and to be honest? A bit slurred. Her eyes met his in a quiet stare of curiosity.

"Same here... and, I don't wanna push you but you're okay? I mean, you're sure? I don't think either of us is heading back to bed anytime soon if you wanna talk about it?..." Bucky questioned gently. Even if he didn't know her well he knew something was amiss. Nat chewed on her lip a bit and sighed, then drank what was left in her cup. She picked the bottle up from the coffee table and poured another glass.

"Have you... ever felt like you're being controlled?... and... it's not the bad people who have controlled you from the past, it's not- not the god-awful things you did creeping their way back up into your skull... It's just..." She shook her head and let it hang, feeling stupid and unable to explain.

James furrowed his brows a bit and licked his somewhat dry lips. "Like. You're you but- no matter how hard you try you aren't actually in control of yourself?..." he whispered, she looked to him quickly then back down.

"Now I feel awful... I just asked James Buchanan Barnes, The Winter Soldier, the guy who was controlled by Hydra for god knows how long if he feels like he has control in life..." She took a long sip from her glass and Bucky smiled.

"Don't... Honestly? I don't feel like I have control, the only thing that's really changed is now I'm staying here for a few days and I'm not being uh... brainwashed? I think things might be worse now that Hydra and SHIELD are hunting me down- at the same time." James shrugged then scooted over a bit closer to Natasha, "I don't know what's goin on with you and I can't promise shit will get better. But uh- just... try. I think that's my only kind of control, my willpower. I try. Every day." He smiled at her and she blushed a little.

"So how much have you had to drink?" She tilted the cup around in her hands, watching the red liquid move.

"Would you think I'm lying if I said this was my second cup?" She still slurred a bit,

"Definitely."

"Well, it's close..." She muttered, "It's my... second bottle. If I'm correct..." The brunet reached over and carefully took the glass from the redhead's tiny hands. She pouted a bit but didn't say anything.