Runaway Princess

CHAPTER 42

I HUGGED myself as I stared at Demian who is currently lying down on a hospital bed and unconscious.

This is all my fault. I thought I would manage to at least protect him and save him from danger but he was the one who ended up hurt. Why am I so useless? Why can't I do anything right? What if Demian's life got put into a risk because of this? What if something else happens to him?

I hugged my knees close to my chest and placed my chin on top of them. It's been an hour since we left the palace. Have they already defeated the rebels? Is father and the others alright?

Now that Marcelo did that to me I feel so unsafe. Earlier a male nurse came in and I was shaking in my seat as he came close to me to check on Demian. I kept thinking that he'll do the same to me, that he'll also touch me inappropriately. I was panicking inwardly.

I feel so dirty. I don't know how I'll be able to bear with anyone's touch knowing that someone has molested me. I don't know how I'll manage to let Demian hold me when another man has held me. I lost my dignity for myself and I feel like a promiscuous woman.

The images of the happening earlier flashed back into my mind. How he traveled his hands all over my body as if I was his, how he kissed my neck like it was made for him to kiss and how he undressed me. I swear I could still feel his hand creeping up my body and it feels sickening it could make me throw up.

I put my forehead against my knees and cried in agony. I feel so low and weak and pathetic. Would Demian still love me and accept me? Would father still look at me the same way? Would other men also take advantage of me? Would they also see me as a whore?

I'm so disgusted of myself. Why did this happen to me? What did I do wrong?

"Hey..." I lifted my head and saw Demian reaching for me. I put my knees down and wiped the tears away from my face and sniffed.

"Why are you crying?" He asked.

"I'm worried about you," I lied.

"Well don't be, I'm already fine," he sat and pushed himself up. I stood up on my feet and assisted him. I put my hand on his back and pushed it up. He winced a bit and I placed two pillows behind him and made him lean on it.

I sat back down on the chair beside his bed and placed my clasped hands on my lap.

"Do you want me to call the doctor?" I asked him and he shook his head and looked at me.

"How do you feel?" he asked me.

I laughed coldly. "Like a slut," I bluntly said and looked down on my feet.

"Baby..." Demian held my chin and made me look up into his eyes. "Don't say that."

"It's true, right?" I bit my lip as it started to quiver. "I'm such a dirty woman," I sobbed and hung my head low, my tears falling onto my lap.

"No, you're not," he said and leaned forward to hug me. I stayed still as he rubbed my back and shushed me. It hurts so much, I feel like my pride as a woman has been decreased and I feel like nobody would respect me anymore if they knew about this.

He squeezed my hands a bit and I pulled away and wiped the tears off my face.

I looked into his eyes. "Do you still love me?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I?" he said without hesitating or even batting an eye.

"Y-you're not gonna leave m-me?" I whimpered.

He gave me a baffled look. "Why are you asking that? What's wrong?"

"I just think that you're gonna be disgusted at me and leave me..." I said and pressed my lip into a thin line. "You're not gonna do that, right?"