A Little Bit Quirky

Chapter 12: Desire

A.N: Next chapter! Thank you for all the support and I hope you enjoy this!!!!!! I'm excited and nervous about this chapter! Let me know in the comments if it's good! Sorry if there's any mistakes.....😅

Warning: Cursing and smut!!!! Yes, finally it is the first of many smutty scenes. Just a heads up I have never wrote smut before so please let me know if it's shit but, don't be too harsh. Anyway to people who do not like smut then I'll put in a warning to show where you should skip.
Hope you enjoy!

Izuku's P.O.V:
"I will never need you Deku!"

The truth in that one sentence hits me full-force and I finally realise everything. Kacchan has never needed me. From when we were kids and he protected me, since he bullied me in middle school, even when he was battling villains; not once had he needed me.
What does that mean? Was I never important to Kacchan? Was it just me who cared? Tears brim in my eyes but, I don't dare let them spill over not, with Kacchan's burning, crimson gaze on me. Is it......Is it possible that from the very begining........

I was the one that needed him?

My chest tightens and I meet Kacchan's eyes, so bright and vibrant; full of conviction and power. Their colour is a glowing crimson with flecks of dark red and swirls of burnt orange that illuminate his irises and makes them look like two small but, beautiful rubies. The only emotion I can recognise in his eyes is anger and it radiates from every wrinkle between his brows, and twist down of his soft pink lips. Even his stiff shoulders, tense muscles that twitch every now and then, and the way his hands shake as he pulls them away from my shoulders, radiates fury.
Why is it that even though he hates me so much, even though he's bullied me, even though he is only ever angry with me, I still want to be with him? Why do I still care for him?

Should I just forget about him?

For the briefest of moments, Kacchan's gaze flickers to my lips and a cruel, manipulative thought enters my mind. He did need me at one point.......
When he kissed me.
The memory flashes in my mind and I shiver at the thought of his lips against my own. That's right! When Kacchan kissed me, he had gripped me so desperately, crushed his mouth against mine hungrily- He had needed me. Maybe.....just maybe, if I-
No!
I shake the thought from my head, cheeks heating up. There's no way I could possibly do something like that! It's so selfish, so mean.......But...... My fingers twitch at my sides, eager to touch the smooth, pale skin of Kacchan's cheek. I suck in a shaky breath as, my injured arm slowly regains its movement. But, I need Kacchan. The sadness I feel at the thought of him not needing me is proof of that. It's such a heart-wrenching feeling that I can find no escape from but, if Kacchan needed me.......
I want us to be friends again. I miss him. So much. I need him in my life. I need his beautiful crimson eyes, his furious, sharp glares, his sharp, rough way of speaking, his rude demeanour, his small, soft smiles that he used to show me as kids, the closeness we once had.......All of it!
But, Kacchan hates me. He doesn't need me and he never will. He would gladly toss me aside whenever he feels like it! And I hate that. I hate that he doesn't need me like I need him. Like he's the sun and I'm the earth, like I'm a pair of lungs and he's oxygen, like I'm a piece of metal and he's a magnet. God, I need him so much. I...I can't imagine my life without him. Kacchan...
My Kacchan.
I don't ever want him to leave me so what if.....what if I made him need me. If I made him feel like he would collapse without me, if I made him desperately search for me every day, if I made him feel empty whenever I left.
If I made him feel how I feel.
My eyes lock with Kacchan's and narrow slightly. I want us to go back to how we were but, Kacchan doesn't want that. So what If I forced him to? Its selfish, it's cruel and it disgusts me to even think of using Kacchan like that.
But what if I made him hunger for me, need me, follow me......
Desire me?
I blink in shock. Could I do that? Could I make Kacchan desire me? I shake my head, hands trembling. What am I thinking? I feel shocked that I'm even allowing myself these thoughts.
If I were to go through with this.......