A Little Bit Quirky

Chapter 41: Familiarity

A.N: Thanks so much for all the support and I hope you all continue reading my fics!
Plz comment and vote and everyone have a great day!!!

Also I just NEED to know, has anyone seen Hannibal on Netflix?????? I'm fucking obsessed with it and I need to fangirl, cuz no one I know irl will watch it. 😒

Izuku'z P.O.V:
"Disgusting."

Somehow that word is the worst thing she could've said.
It's not like when I was bullied and called names, or when Kacchan sneered at me and said I was useless.
This word doesn't hurt or scar, but makes me feel like dirt. As if my existence is worthless and the feelings welling up inside of me for Kacchan; so fragile and raw, are filthy. Inexcusable. Vile.

Wrong.

"Deku...." She reaches for me and I flinch back, tears already spilling over my cheeks. Glancing back at Kacchan, I shake my head and then race down the corridor, ignoring their shouts of my name.

Disgusting.

What was I thinking? I'm such a fool! Kissing Kacchan and even doing more than that.... That's not normal.
We're both guys. I... It was fine when nobody knew. When it was just a secret, like when we used to sneak off to the woods and play behind our mother's backs. It wasn't real then, but now, someone knows.
Uraraka saw us and she spoke the truth...

Disgusting.

Who started it? Does it even matter? It's obvious it was wrong. How could I ever think that this could work out? What would we do? We can't date each other, can't be romantically involved. I shouldn't even like him like that.
This is all my fault.

Disgusting.

Kacchan was always the strong one, the normal one.
He would never think about a boy like this, but I must have somehow confused him. Yeah, he's confused, guilty for bullying me. He's just trying to make up for it.
He doesn't like me.
Why isn't this making me feel better?

Disgusting.

I pause outside the infirmary, glancing inside to spot All Might, who is nodding along to whatever Recovery Girl is saying. He smiles at her and its so horribly unfamiliar that I press my back against the wall and slowly slide to the floor, squashed by a mixture of grief and guilt.
Limbs splayed and chest heaving with my laboured breaths, I cry silently, listening to the voice that isn't quite All Might's speak.
"Yes, Aizawa-san has been helping me go over my memories."
"That's good." There's a bit of shuffling and I swallow back a sob, resting my head back against the wall. "You should get rest too and try not to stress yourself. Don't feel pressured to remember, because you feel guilty or obligated. Take time. Let them come to you."
"I understand. Thank you."
Staring at the ceiling, I have the sudden thought that it isn't how I feel for Kacchan that's wrong.
It's me.
I'm wrong. Useless, weak, pathetic, wrong, a mistake...

Disgusting.

"Are you alright?" I glance up at the sound of the not quite All Might's voice and watch as the man offers a meek smile.

It brings no comfort.

***

"I did what?"

I grin at the sky, swinging my legs slowly. "Of course you destroyed it and saved us all. That Domu had nothing on you!"
"He sure seems like a hero."
"He?"
"Ah..." The man glances at his folded hands in his lap. "Sorry, its hard to find a connection between me and the person your describing. He sounds like an amazing person and though I know that it's me that has done all these things, it just doesn't fit."
"So, you still don't remember anything?"
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't apologise. You'll get your memory back eventually."
"And if I don't?"