Make it stop, please

Chapter 9

⚠️ suicidal thoughts, cutting, crying ⚠️

Keith's pov:

It's was the next day and I was the last to wake up. I was alone in bed with my thoughts. My thoughts are getting worse day by day. They are trying to destroy me, making me feel not loved. Lately when I'm with Lance I say I'm fine when I'm really not.
      I want to tell him but what would he think of me. He would dump me and maybe go out with someone better than me. Maybe he would be better off without me.
Do it ....
   Do what though?
Cut yourself, show me how weak you are faggot.....
     I got up and grabbed my red jacket and put on my shoes and left Lances room to go to my room. It's been a few days since I went to my room. The door slide open and I locked my door. I let out a heavy sigh and turned around and hit my back to the cold wall.
    I felt something warm on my cheeks. I raised my hand to my cheek to touch it and I felt something wet, I was crying? Why was I crying?
Because you know that lance doesn't love you , he loves allura because she's better than you.....
    I walked to my bed and picked up my pillow. There it was..... my razor. I was trembling at this point, I didn't want to do it but my body was craving for it. I picked up the razor and sat down on the cold metal floor. I placed the razor on my wrist and then SLASH I cutted my wrist open.
     I felt relived but I was still crying. Maybe if I add a couple more I won't be crying. SLASH SLASH SLASH. I kept on going until I had 4 big cuts on my wrist. The red and dark blood was flowing down my wrist. I banged my back of my head to the bed and let another sigh.
    What would lance say about this? I wanna die, I wanna die right now. Maybe if I do nobody will care. I'm being selfish aren't I? If my life was a bit more happier wouldn't I be happy right now?
      I'm asking too much questions, nobody will answer them at all.
Just get up and cut yourself to death....
Stop it
Nobody will care about you faggot
They will?
Stop being positive and just do it pussy
I got up and walked into the bathroom. I look at myself at the mirror, my hair is greasy like always, my face is red, my eyes are so puffy too. The cuts are still stingy. I should patch it up so no one will find out.  I sit down on the toilet and began patching up my wrist. I cleaned them and bandaged them up.
      It might been 30 minuets but I heard someone walking through the hallway.
Keith? Babe where are you? Keith?
BANG BANG
It was lance, I quickly find my jacket and put it on to cover my bandages. I slowly walked up to the door and unlocked it. Then there he was... Lance.
Hey babe you ok? Why did you locked the door?
Oh ummm I was changing and didn't want anybody come here. I said quickly so he won't find out.
Are you ok then?
Yea I'm fine! I smiled at him and hugged him.
Stop lying ur not fine faggot, you lies are gonna kill you ......