Make it stop, please

Chapter 23

Keith pov:

       I was fast walking to my room. Nothing made sense to me anymore. I'm so done with everything, I want to end this. I should of listened, I should of just....died. Tears are pouring down my pale face, my face getting wet. I hate this, I hate him. He blamed me for something I didn't do, if he wanted to fix this then he should've talked with me.

         I got to my room and locked the door completely and put a lock on it. The door shut tightly and this is where I plan on staying forever till I die. I turn around and hit my back on the door and slide down to the ground. I bring my feet up and placed my head in between. I can't think. Can't think of anything else except what Lance said to me.

Was that the real Lance, the one that I used to love? My mind is just not working with me. I look up and bang my head against the door.

So now what, you lost your true love, your soulmate, your Lance. I think this is the right time to think about what's next. Death or endless pain? 

Right now I want to think things over. First, why did he cheat on me? Was I that bad?

I mean yes you where. Your a self centered prick like he said and your useless and nothing good for. Maybe he's right to cheat on you.

Would that make me a selfish person if I want him even though he said those words to me? I still love him but I sometimes now wonder why he was always trying to get me to sleep around 12. Maybe to sleep with Allura and come back in the morning to sleep with me like nothing happened. That bitch.

I could see why he would do that. Maybe you deserve a punishment. Cut. Just once.

I stood up and ran to my drawer. I pulled out the knife that my mother gave me when I was little. I missed this so much, feeling the burning sensation. The pain in my heart, and the red liquid flowing down my wrist down to the floor. I sat down on my bed and didn't even hesitate to cut my wrist.

One cut, for being stupid
Two, being fat
Three, being ugly
Four, being selfish
Five, being useless
Six, never good enough
Seven, oblivious
Eight, freak
And lastly....
Nine, for being dumb to think he likes me back.

Heh maybe this isn't bad. I see blood drip down my arm and soak my bedsheets and drip to the floor. I smile a bit, remembering the times where I would cry all night and not eat and cut till I have no space. Each cut meant something, it meant on all the mistakes I did.

Now just continue that and we will be where we were in the beginning. Let's bring back the old times and forever the new ones. I'm back in business for a while, well let's just say I'm not leaving soon.

"Good job........"

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