Soothsayer ⚡ Barry Allen

Finally Belong

Due to the scare with Iris, Barry and I had agreed that I'd take more of a backburner job, to avoid press release of my face. He went on his normal patrols, I only stepped in at night if I knew a specific criminal. When he wasn't the Flash, he was holed in his lab at CCPD, or here. But here had become a relative term with him; his mind was elsewhere, his attention was almost always on his Flashly duties, and when it wasn't, he was reading.

So, as he patrolled, I sat at his desk; the computers showing his tracker zipping between buildings and a book in my lap. Since my comms device had been broken in our struggle with Magenta, we didn't have communication in the field. We didn't really have communication in general, at the moment. Barry has been extremely closed off to me since his nightmare a few days ago. It was scary watching him become so much like me.

When he started heading home, I returned the computer to it's normal rest mode, spinning a 180 in the chair and reading again as I waited. I looked up when static bit at my ear drums, blue light circling over the yellow test dummy before Barry stood before it, dressed casually as he stared at his suit for a minute. "Good job today," I admired softly. The corner of his lips pulled up a bit, but he still didn't say anything. He was worse after his visit with his dad yesterday, and he still wouldn't talk to me about anything. With an inaudible sigh, I set down my book and walked over to him, sharing his gaze as I peaked over his shoulder with my arms wrapped around his middle. "They'd crash and burn without you," I pointed out. "But recently, you're the one who's starting to smoke."

Holding one of his hands over mine, he looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. "For Christ's sake, speak to me," I pleaded, feeling my efforts of the past four days turn my expression hurt and tired. His stubbornness was exhausting. Now I know what it's like dealing with me. He looked away from me and took a deep breath, curling his fingers tighter around mine.

"My dad didn't make parole," he admitted. Hearing his voice for the first time today admit something so damning, I couldn't help but close my eyes and tighten my grip around him. "He was caught in a fight, he was in the infirmary for a week and a half."

"You didn't tell me you didn't see him last week," I pointed out gently. Along with all the rest he was withholding from me. I sighed and pressed my forehead into his shoulder. "You can't keep internalizing, Barry. Of all things, trust me on that. Please, let me help you." I let his silence continue, I'd do all the talking if I had to, as much as it bothered me. "Whatever you dreamt...it'll only get easier once you get it out." With the hand he didn't hold, I ran my fingers over his chest, feeling the ridges of his lanky body through the fabric of his shirt.

I could feel his muscles move as he dropped his head, shifting his grip around my knuckles and squeezing. "I can't lose you," he quietly breathed. "In the dream...you left. You were gone for a long time." I looked up when he let go of my hand, watching as he slowly turned around in my arms. Barry didn't look me in the face, but I could see the tears shining on his, instantly causing me to hold his cheeks.

"I'm not going anywhere," I softly promised, wiping away the trails on his face. "And if I do, you won't be far behind. I know that is true whether I'll want it to be or not." With his eyes tightly closed, he rested his forehead on mine, completely missing the fear and worry in my eyes. At this point, I didn't know which of us I was scared for; his growing instability or my lack of security in my life. For me, nothing would last forever, even ratting for the Flash wasn't a guarentee.

But his arms just circled around me tightly, his fingers slowly smoothing over my back and convincing everything in my head to stay and ignore the instincts telling me to flee. I don't understand how he could do that. I've spent years getting under peoples skins and playing them like puppets, I've understood how to play off of their emotions and manipulate them. But Barry did it so differently, I'm not even sure he was aware he could do it. Something in his personality took all my mannerisms and influences and flipped them completely before sending them back to me.

I was so convinced I was going to corrupt Barry, that he was just some play thing I could bat to the dark side and have my fun with; but, like the headspinning, principle defying wall that Barry was, he brought me into the light while still allowing me my fun. "Why don't you go pick out one of your nerdy movies I haven't seen before? Me and you just relax tonight." With a sniffle, Barry nodded and pulled away, allowing me to wipe his face again.

"I'll get some pizza." A soft chuckle left me and I nodded, knowing he could never go too long without food.

"Alright, get the movie and I'll set everything up while I wait for you to get back." With a small smile, I stood on my toes and gently pressed my lips to his, feeling mine twitch up when he held me tighter and pressed a little harder.

"Thank you," he softly mumbled, setting me back on my heels before zipping away. I sighed at the tingles left in my lips and back, looking down to the plastic now in my hands. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I walked to the small livingroom and loaded the movie up, the previews beginning as I walked into the room. Grabbing a blanket, I wrapped it around my shoulders, dragging it on the floor behind me as I flopped myself on the couch. The leather was cold and I curled the blanket further around myself in order to combat it.

The menu had only cycled a couple times by the time Barry got back, I sat up and took the warm box he held out to me as he started the movie, sitting himself beside me and recieving the box. After I finished eating, I leaned into his side with my head on his shoulder, feeling him relax into me as he ate and watched. It was a good movie, it was plenty entertaining, but I could feel sleep taking a hold on me. Didn't help any that after Barry finished eating he repositioned us so he laid on his back under me, my head on his chest and our legs tangled under the blanket. We were maybe halfway through -- I couldn't really tell, it was turning out to be a long movie -- when I realized I was losing the battle.

I took a deep breath as he started running his hands up and down my back, unable to keep my eyes open for longer than a few seconds. However, I caught Barry's attention when I tried and failed to stiffle a yawn, his chest vibrating under me as he laughed. "Don't fall asleep yet, the best part is coming up."

"I'm not," I denied, shifting my position to hide another silent yawn. I nuzzled my face into his neck and relaxed there, his hands running under my shirt now as he rested his chin on the top of my head. This spot was perfect, his body molded into mine to hold me perfectly, the warmth of his body and the blanket trapping it all in. My left hand rested on Barry's chest as I curled impossibly further into him. I'm not sure when I finally passed out, but I did so knowing that I was home, that I could always find it with Barry.