Tahimik lang ako. Maya't mayang iniinom ang biniling tubig sa akin ni Dustin habang nakatingin sa labas ng bintana ng kotse. I didn't want to look at him baka mahalata niya pa ring natatakot ako. I was ashamed enough so I tried to compose myself as fast as I could hoping I didn't become more pitiful in his eyes.
Gusto kong iuntog ang sarili ko sa salamin. Of all people bakit si Dustin pa ang naroroon para makasaksi sa isang kahinaan ko? I was trying to prove him wrong about his thoughts on me only to show him a terrible weakness at the end.
"What happened to you out there?" he asked. Kung ayaw kong tumingin sa kanya mukhang ganun din siya sa akin. Kinakausap niya ako habang palipat-lipat ng tingin sa kalsada at sa side mirror.
"I-I can't explain. I suddenly become afraid of crossing the street." I couldn't tell him in full details. Kahit kasi sabihin ko pa hindi naman siya makakarelate. Maging ako man ay di maintindihan ang aking sarili. It seemed that my experiences in the mysterious world I lived in had more impact in my whole being kesa sa mga naging karanasan ko sa totoong mundo. My heart, my body and sometimes my mind was being ruled by it na para bang nag-iwan ng isang malaking hiwaga sa kabuuang pagkatao ko.
"Naalala mo ba yung pagkakabangga sayo? Dapat ay iwinawaksi mo na sa isipan ang masamang alaala na yan."
Gulat na napalingon ako sa kanya nang may namimilog na mga mata. "How did you know about it?"
Sumagot lamang siya nang panandaliang ngisi.
Humalukipkip ako at napaisip nang malalim. Kung iisipin, he knew a lot about my surreal memories. If not, he couldn't perfectly portrait the role of being my fiance. I sighed. Nadismaya ako bigla kay Dr. Medrano. He definitely told Dustin everything I shared during our sessions. Yun lang naman ang paraan para malaman niya ang lahat-lahat.
"Dustin how did you get that ring? The one you gave me?" I asked out of curiousity.
"Pinagawa ko," maiksing sagot niya.
Lumukot ang aking noo. How come it looked exactly the same with the one he gave me in the proposal? Did I tell Dr. Medrano how it looked like? Umiling ako. Hindi ko rin maalala kung na-describe ko nga.
Ninakawan ko ng sulyap si Dustin. He really did huge effort to make our fake relationship believable. But knowing that he knew every stories I shared to my doctor, siguro naisip niyang nasisiraan na nga ako ng bait sa mga panahong yun. Should I explain to him that I think I really experienced them?
"D-Dustin d-do you believe..." nag-atubili ako kung itutuloy ko ba ang tanong o hindi.
He gave me a glance. "What?"
Lumunok ako. "N-Nevermind," sabay tingin ulit sa labas ng bintana. I wanted to ask if he believes in magic. Pero kapag itinanong ko yun baka isipin niyang nasisiraan pa rin ako ng ulo. Coming from a realistic person like me, tiyak na magdududa siyang hindi pa rin talaga ako normal.
"How's your feeling now?" he asked.
Dahil sa tanong niya pinakiramdaman ko ang aking sarili. Only then I realized na wala na akong nararamdamang anumang takot.
"I-I think I'm fine now."
Sinubukan kong balikan sa aking isipan ang kinatatakutan kong aksidente at ang mga nangyari sa akin doon, wala na ring epekto iyon sa aking dibdib. Ni wala akong naramdaman kahit kaunting nerbiyos man lang.
BINABASA MO ANG
MAGICALLY YOURS,
RomanceDeanery Mortel was a single woman with fat pocket. But despite of wealth and success, she was secretly empty inside because of a man she let go. Her life was full of 'what ifs'. One day, she died and the next day she opened her eyes living in her pa...
