Never felt this way before

Chapter 29

He needs more control, he needs this on his own terms. He needs to know what the fuck this means at all. He feels like a fucking child and it's driving him insane.

"Um.. Alright.. What would your terms be, exactly? If I were to agree upon a partnership, where we have sexual encounters and that is all that comes out of this, what exactly do I have to agree to? Considering the kind of person I am, how are you so sure this would work despite any rules that may seem fair to you?" Sebastian said, cocking his head to the side and eyeing the boy, keeping his face calm and looking uninterested and uneffected when he's really fucking screaming internally from frustration.

Ciel bites his lip while he thinks of possible rules. There's only 2 that he can think of, but what if he changes his mind and wants to add more and can't because Sebastian is a stubborn asshole? Ciel huffs.

"Alright. You make a good point, but I don't ask much of you. All that I request from you is that you don't have sex with anyone else when I'm around. I don't want to walk out and see you fucking some guy. I have feelings, you know. And insecurities. You can't just fuck me and decide I wasn't enough and invite someone else. Tell me to leave first at least, it isn't difficult." Ciel stated, watching how Sebastian  sighs, tilting his head back and groan.

"Second, I.." Ciel fidgets, biting his lip shyly, "I want to explore kinks. I had a pretty vanilla sex life with Claude and you seem to be okay with exploring.." Ciel was so embarrassed, his mind in jumbles. He likes to consider himself pretty innocent. Until he met Sebastian, anyway.

Sebastian mulls over these rules. Simple enough, not too demanding or time consuming. They're fair, and don't ask anything emotionally from him. A perfect situation that he can easily be on board with.

"I agree. As for kinks, I think we should go over what you want to try and complete a list of what's in out comfort area, and whether you want to go into a BDSM branch. If you decide so, I need time to study subspace and the recovery for it so I can properly take care of you." Sebastian says, making Ciel's eyes go wide in surprise.

Ciel was ecstatic. Sebastian didn't even give one judgemental look or even hesitate. And subspace? What the fuck is that exactly? I guess he'll find out one day. Ciel was just excited, walking closer to Sebastian and getting on his tip toes to give a soft kiss to those pink lips.

"Thank you, Sebastian." Ciel whispers, smiling and grabbing his hand, leading him to the bed.

"Now eat my ass to celebrate."