Never felt this way before

Chapter 41

Alois knows he should go and talk to Ciel, but it feels like his body is weighed down by a million things. His mind is all over the place, in a state of panic, because one, he didn't even view his friend in that way, he knows they'd never work in any kind of relationship. Two, he let it happen, even if he knew why it happened.

The thing is though, he knows exactly what it feels like to need somebody. He knows Ciel hasn't been alone in a long time and it can be weird, hard to deal with, make you feel like you're suffocating. He feels bad that even as he is aware of this, he'd do it all again if it made Ciel feel better for at least a few minutes.

He stands up and takes a deep breath before taking steps to his friends bedroom, biting his lip nervously as he opens the door.

"Babe?" He calls out softly, scared to be a bother.

"I'm sorry."

It's clear Ciel is crying and Alois sighs, stepping into the room and shutting the door softly behind himself and walks to the bed, crawling on it and sits besides Ciel's laying body, and hugs his knees.

"Listen, I know why you did it. I know you don't have any like, secret feelings for me or anything. I get it, you don't need to apologize. I let it happen, if you didn't notice. I just want you to understand that I'm here in any way you need me."

Ciel rolls onto his other side, facing Alois and peeks out from under the blanket and pouts, "You shouldn't have to be there in that sense. I just feel so lost right now."

"I know, babe. That's what Claude was for me." He says the words carefully, them having not talked about this since the moment Ciel caught them together.

Ciel nods and pulls the blanket off him and opens his arms for Alois to cuddle into and he lets out a big smile when Alois gets comfortable. "I wasn't too upset about him, strangely. But, I had Sebastian there to distract me from the dread of it all, you know? I just thought that it was a blessing that Claude left me and like gave me this open door straight into Sebastian. But now that Sebastian is gone, it's catching up to me. Should I be happy it ended with Claude? If that didn't happen, I wouldn't of gotten into this mess with Sebastian."

Alois listens, moving his hand up to run his fingers through Ciel's hair gently and smiles softly at him. "I'm glad it happened, because I wouldn't of met you. Maybe this is a weird twist of fate you know? Maybe Sebastian will come back begging for you and you also got a best friend out of it. I love you to death. To be honest, I didn't even know Claude was with anyone when we were dating, I broke it off the moment I found out about you and him being serious, which was at the house."

Ciel widens his eye, taking in the information. He let the words sink in, the word fate. Is fate real, honestly? It sure feels like it is, with him being unhappy with Claude and having this easy way out, and straight into another man's arms and a new friend coming into his life when he felt utterly alone before. Even if Sebastian were not to come back, he did ease the pain, but it came back even worse with his absence.

"Maybe you're right." Is all Ciel says, closing his eye and cuddling closer into Alois.