Never felt this way before

Chapter 28

Ciel doesn't know how it happened, but they somehow went from kissing in the street to in Sebastian's bedroom. He didn't want to end up here, in fact, he planned on being anywhere BUT here.

Ciel had shit to say, but he just had to kiss the big motherfucking brute and seem like he forgave him pretty damn quick.

He fucking thought.

"Wait, stop." Ciel said, pushing Sebastian away from him and crossing his arms over his naked chest, shivering a little once he realized how cold it was in the room.

Cold as Sebastian's fucking heart, asshole. Ciel thought.

"What is it?" Sebastian said, looking a little disgruntled. He definitely expected sex. He really wanted sex. Ever since he met Ciel, sex has been really boring and not the same and he honestly can't think in the correct head at the moment.

"I'm not sleeping with you unless we make rules. You know, determine what this is? What we don't want and do want? Compromise?" Ciel said, huffing a little when he saw Sebastian roll his eyes like feelings are the worst thing ever to discuss.
"I already told you want I don't want." Sebastian stated calmly, stepping closer to Ciel and looking in his eye, getting distracted by the feelings he sees swarming in them.

"Okay, then how about we switch it up and you tell me what you DO want? Because it just seems like you want to fuck me and other people whenever you like, despite where I am at the time, and that won't fly with me. I don't want that and I deserve better."

Sebastian felt his blood run completely cold. This is exactly what he didn't want to deal with. The first time sleeping with Ciel, they had a talk after and he completely got the vibe that Ciel had no problem with what he wanted. That was why he continued it, why he slept with him more than once and even slept in the same bed with him.

He can't deal with this. The words he wants to say is caught in his throat, staying in his brain and refusing to accept them. He knows what he wants, he's set on what he wants. He's never been so sure of anything in his life and that fact scares the living fuck out of him.

He wants to be..... fuck buddies.... With Ciel Phantomhive. He never thought this day would come. It's been fuck and go for years. He's never been in a committed relationship or a... partnership where there was rules. In fact, he's never even slept with the same guy twice.

What could Ciel possibly believe will come out of this? How does he know that he won't invite someone over when he's sleeping and fuck them quietly? How does it know he won't fuck everyone in the entire god damn world in the other room without him knowing? How can he expect, Sebastian, to simply live by rules that semi tie him down?

Sebastian feels a headache coming on, and he's never been more confused and agitated with how things are going. He can't see all possible outcomes, he can't see what the future holds or how things will make him feel or lead him to do.