Never felt this way before

Chapter 40

Day 4

Day 4 is a horribly bad day. Ciel feels insanely lonely. And he makes a very bad choice, that he knows he shouldn't do but he can't think straight, just wanting attention, wanting to be touched, wanting to feel needed and wanted.

So he gets out of bed, wearing clothes too big for him that make him seem so small and fragile and he eyes Alois. He's sitting on the couch, eating vanilla wafers and watching some dumb modeling show and Ciel just wants attention.

Ciel walks over and plucks the box of cookies out of Alois' hands and places himself in his lap, wrapping his arms around his neck and lays his head on his shoulder.

"You okay, Ciel?" Is all Alois says, thinking nothing out of the ordinary of this encounter, so he just rubs his back, pulling him a little closer and continues watching his show.

Bad idea.

Ciel moves to look at Alois and pouts, letting out a huff that makes Alois look away from the tv and at Ciel. "What?"

Ciel kisses him, and hard.

Ciel knows this is stupid. Ciel knows that this is a bad coping mechanisim. He knows deep down he doesn't want Alois, but Sebastian. He knows this is loneliness and fear taking over his body, but he wants attention, he wants to feel wanted. He wants the pain out of his mind like Sebastian did when it came to Claude.

Alois is frozen under him, but then he quickly responds, putting his hands on Ciel's hips as they kiss quite frantically. Ciel places his hands on Alois' neck, licking into his mouth, catching the little moans, embedding it onto his tongue and memory.

Quite frankly, 2 bottoms don't make a top, but they aren't really thinking of that right now.

Ciel grabs Alois' hands and puts them onto his ass and starts grinding down, feeling his ass get squeezed and this is exactly what he wanted. What he needed. He's grinding down so hard he needs to catch his breath, to let out a loud moan and tilts his head back as he moves his hips in little circles. Alois automatically latches onto his neck, giving the skin a hard suck, making the other boy moan and grip onto his hair.

"Mark me, mark me please." He wants to feel owned and this is so horrible. He wants to cum and it's all he wants right now. He has this sick idea in his mind that if Alois marks him up, Sebastian will magically see or fucking feel it in his senses and get mad and demand Ciel back. But Ciel knows that's a reach but he doesn't care, but the thought makes him grind down faster, breathing heavier as Alois nods his head and marks his neck up, biting and sucking, gripping on Ciel's ass and forcing him to go faster.

Alois is slightly panicking inside, he's never been like, a top. He hasn't been the one to give pleasure, so when Ciel moans out for him to get his fingers inside of him, he freezes for a second, his eyes going wide.

He just wants his friend to feel better, and he has a guilt feeling sicking down into his heart, but he does what Ciel asks of him, slipping his hands into the boxers and rubbing the tip of his finger against his rim, hearing the boy's breath falter for a moment.
Ciel loses it when a finger slides inside of him, dry and painful, but he needs it, he's starved for it, so he grinds down against it, moaning under his breath as he moves a hand down, shoving it into Alois' pants and rubs the palm of his hand against the erection, making Alois groan, biting into his shoulder hard, making Ciel moan out his name loudly.

That's when it crashes in his mind, the illusion. "I'm not Sebastian, Ciel."

Ciel freezes and looks at Alois, his mind going cloudy. "I'm sorry. I'm so-"

He's interrupted by a hard kiss and another finger pushing inside of him, thrusting into him quick and hard, making him forget everything again and starts riding the fingers, feeling them brush against his prostate, feeling himself get frantic with it, on the edge of cumming.

He clenches around the fingers and cums hard into his pants, a loud moan coming out of his mouth, his body shaking from the force of his orgasm.

He instantly gets onto his knees before he gathers his thoughts, shoving the pants and boxers off and pushes the boy's tip into his mouth and gives a hard suck, closing his eyes and pretends it's Sebastian, massaging the tip with his tongue hard before sinking down, moaning at the taste of pre-cum on his tongue, salty and sharp.

Alois grips onto his hair and tilts his head back, letting out little moans as Ciel bobs his head, slow and with lots of tongue. It's wet and tight in his mouth, making Alois' jaw drop as he just lets himself feel, breathing heavier as his orgasm approaches.
He cums down the boy's throat, hearing Ciel let out a whimper, feeling him swallow it all.

Suddenly Ciel is up and running into the room and slamming the door.

Alois feels like shit.

Day 4 sucks.