The Third Everdeen

Chapter 39

I couldn't be in there anymore. I sped out and sat by myself in the cafeteria, crying silently. I couldn't believe I basically lost three of the most important people in my life within the span of one night. Tears streamed down my face, until Coin approached me. I cleaned them away and looked up at her, waiting to hear the news. 

"There's no news." She looked at me cautiously, "I'm sorry."  She sat down by me, "It's the worst torture in the world. Waiting, when you know there's nothing you can do." more tears fell, "Especially for people like us. But whatever strength, courage, madness, keeps us going, you find it at times like these." her hand went on mine, "You have it, soldier. You're a fighter Lily. It's what kept you alive all this time. It's not going to fail you now."

I nodded, not saying a word. 

~

Finnick and I sat side-by-side waiting. He was tying knots, I remembered Maggs showing me how to tie a few before the Quell. But I still wasn't as good as Finnick. Suddenly the door opened and Haymitch popped his head in, I was up and taking strides to the door without him even finishing his sentence.

"They're back." 

I ran to the hospital wing and looked around, there was a commotion by one of the beds and I ran to it.

"I don't want that," Johanna threw the blood pressure device away and ripped the breathing assistant out of her nose. She was smirking but when she saw me her face went cold. I was in awe of how she looked, she was skin and bones. They had shaved her bald. 

"Johanna," I breathed."

"Finnick!" A voice screamed, I turned and saw Annie ripping off IVs and running into Finnick's arms. 

"Annie!" He clutched her tight, a tear came down his face. "You're safe! You're safe." He told her, putting his hand to her cheek and kissing her.

I looked around confused as to why I couldn't find anyone else until suddenly, "Gale!" I ran to him and hugged him. I checked his whole body, "Are you okay? Did you get hurt? Where's Katniss?"

"I'm fine Lily, Katniss is right there," He pointed and she ran to me and hugged me.

"God I was so worried about you two," I hugged the two of them. Katniss had a look on her face, I got worried, "What? What's wrong?" 

"I don't get it." She answered looking at gale and shaking her head.

"Every gun was back online and on us, yet we flew right past them." Gale looked down at me.

"They let us leave, why?" Katniss wondered. My eyes traveled between the two of them, Katniss looked at the door on the side, "He's in that room." 

I looked over, "The gas we used on the guards knocked him out too, but it should be wearing off by now," Gale told me.

Katniss smiled, "You should be the face he sees when he comes to."

I was so happy they were okay, I was even more happy they brought him back too. I hugged them again, "Thank you." I started walking and thanked Boggs. I ran to the door and opened it. There were doctors taking some equipment off of him. His back was to me but I almost cried right then and there. He was so skinny. "Peeta." I breathed. 

His head went up when he heard my voice. I walked to the side, he turned his head and I saw his profile. He was beaten and bloody, his eyes were dark and there were tears building up. They looked bloodshot. I could clearly see his collarbone peeking through the top of the hospital gown they gave him. There was something different about his eyes from the last time I saw them. Something dark. But, yet. It was him. Peeta was there, alive. I took a step to hug him and he pounced like a rabid animal. 

His hands clamped on my throat; cutting my airway and threw me against the wall. I broke something glass and fell over, he toppled on top of me squeezing my throat tighter and tighter. I started gasping trying to get any tiny bit of air, I could feel my face going hot. His face was crazed, his eyes had something I had never seen before when he looked at me...hatred. Total and utter loathing. Haymitch started yelling at him but it all sounded muffled, he got a doctor and they tried to get him off of me but Peeta fought them back and pushed them again roughly. Peeta grabbed me and slammed me against the floor, tears welling in my eyes as I looked at the man I loved taking my life from me. I felt myself slowly go unconscious, Last thing I saw was someone hitting Peeta over the head and getting him off me.

~

Beep.....beep...beep....beep...

My heart rate was steady as I came to in a hospital bed, there was something on my neck.  I remembered what happened and tried to speak, I realized I couldn't and tried to take the thing off. I was becoming more frantic, my breathing heavier, my heart-rate faster. Boggs appeared in my vision, taking my hands off my neck brace. 

"It's swollen Lily, don't touch it." He told me. I could feel my eyes welling again, I could only imagine how red my eyes must have been, "Calm down, you're okay." Out of the corner of my eye I saw a nurse in the doorway, "Tell her she's awake." Boggs instructed. The nurse nodded and walked away. 

My throat felt dry as I tried to speak, "Pee-"

"Don't try to talk. Peeta's okay, I promise. I just had to get him off of you." so he was the one who hit him. 

~

"It's called hijacking." Plutarch informed sitting in front of me. Prim and Katniss sat next to me on either side of my bed. Haymitch sat in the corner and Beetee was in his wheelchair at the foot of my bed, "We don't know how long the Capitol has been doing this to Peeta."

Beetee looked at me, "It's fear conditioning. Enhanced with tracker-jacker venom....You were stung your first Games. Remember?" I nodded, How could I forget?  "The venom puts the subject in a dissociative state. And they..." he slowly waved his hand, "...torture him. With shocks and beatings, and strip down his identity. And then all of that suffering and fear is redirected. Associated with other memories or a person." I just want to cry. 

"They can change his memories of Lily?" Prim asked confused. 

Beetee nodded, "To make her seem like-threatening."

"He's a weapon now." Katniss breathed.

"They turned him into that Lily." Haymitch told me, "To kill you."

Fuck. 

"You can reverse it though, can't you?" Prim asked.

"Fear is the most difficult thing to overcome." Beetee reminded us, "We're hardwired to remember fear best."

Plutarch breathed, "It's new terrain." He shrugged, "But we've put together a team. I'm optimistic."

I just sat there, helpless, looking at the people around me. The man I love, wants to kill me.

~

Everyone left me alone in my room so they could go watch Coin's speech. I could hear bits and pieces of it but I wasn't interested. All I could think about was Peeta and what they did to him in the Capitol. Snow let him go because he knew that if Peeta got to me then he would kill me. I couldn't just sit in my room anymore, I got up and went to my door. I took a peek out and saw there weren't any guards stationed to watch me. Perfect. I crept out and walked down the corridor. 

I made it to the Hospital wing and saw Peeta's face on the roster, it showed which room he was in. I tip-toed over. the viewing station just before his room allowed me to be able to see him without being in the room. I looked through the windows and gasped, baby... 

He was crying bloody-murder. Strapped to the bed like a mental patient. Thrashing around, trying to break free from his restraints. 

The Capitol took everything from me. My innocence. My baby. And now they took my Peeta.